The Best of Rabbi A. Moss

2009-06-21T14:38:00.000-07:00

Introduction

2009-06-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Moss has an uncanny talent, to take complicated issues, and clearly explain them in a few paragraphs.

Rabbi Moss is a Lubavitch Rabbi, in Australia.

I have selected the articles, that I felt were very interesting.

Every article has been edited.

Enjoy!

2009-06-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

CLICK ON ARTICLE

A Marriage Made in Heaven
Life is Just a Pot of Chloent
Men are From Mars
Why do Chassidum Wear Dark Clothes?

What is Humility?
How do I Know that G-D Exists?
I Feel Like A Hypocrite
G-d Wants His Children to Follow Their Path

Is Religion Responsible for War?
Does Judaism Respects all Mankind?
Judaism is the Path, Not the Luggage
It's Not Just Cricket (Moshiach)

Our Relationship With G-D
Profane Language
Is There Only One G-D?
Services Every Week?

Sweet Stings On Rosh Hashanah
The Beard
The Kabbalah Fad
Uninspired

What is a Jewish Soul?
Who Created G-D?
Who is Your G-D?
Why Are We Not Vegetarians?

Why Do Rabbis Discourage Conversions?
Why Doesn't Judaism Allow Cremations?
Why Don't Miracles Happen Today?
Why is Jewish Law so Detailed?

Why is There A Big Picture of the Rebbe in your Ho...
Why is Pressing a Button on Shabbos Considered Wor...
Can a Pet Be Family?
Can a Rabbi Get Married?

Charity
Should We Make Conversion Easier?
Strongly Disagree?
Did G-D Create Evil?

Fasting
TV- Reality or Fantasy?
Handicapped or Blessed?
How Can I Be Happy?

The Wall of Holiness
Reincarnated- Soul-Mate
The Dance of Life
Yom Kipper is for Imperfect People

What is the Biggest Threat to Judaism?
True Happiness
To Receive, is Better Than to Give
The Unity of the Chuppah (Marriage)

The Good and the Bad (Suffering)
The Dark Before the Light
Somebody Elses Problems
Should a Wedding be Kosher?

Broaden Your View (Marriage Match)
Every Seed (Mitzvah) Counts
The Chosen People
A Spiritual Gift

A Rabbi and a Buddhist
Divorce a Spiritual Operation?
Children Need a Strong Foundation
A True Success

A Marriage Made in Heaven

2009-06-19T03:29:00.000-07:00

Question:

I recently attended a wedding. It was a very different experience.

One thing I had never seen before, is that the bride wears a veil at the Chuppah, she can't see anything at all, and no one can see her face.

What is the reason for this?
___________
Answer:

There's a stereotype, when it comes to marriage: men marry women, for their looks; women marry men, for their money. There are of course many exceptions to this rule, but there is some truth to it.

Men fall for beauty. The fact that there are plenty of pretty girls, with rotten character does, nothing to stop the male quest, for a beauty queen.

And so, many wonderful girls are overlooked simply, because they do not fit into today's narrow and superficial, definition of beauty.

Meanwhile, women say they want a man who is financially stable, which is often just a euphemism, for a rich guy. Somehow she thinks, that if he has a seven digit bank balance, he will know how to look after her.

As if buying expensive jewelry, and luxurious vacations, is the only way to show her, that he really cares. And the really nice guys, who are not such high flyers, are often left behind.
______________

Of course we need to be attracted to our spouse, and of course we all need money to survive. But these are not the most essential ingredients, for a happy marriage.

Too often people fall for the outer version, of what they truly seek.

Rather than physical beauty, what we are really looking for is, inner beauty, and a sweet heart. It is not wealth we seek, what we really want is, a steadfast and dependable source of support.

It is only when we see beyond the superficial, and meet the real person; that we have a chance of finding, and keeping, our soul-mate.
_____________
This is the message behind the thick veil. When the groom veils his bride, he is telling her, "I am not marrying you for your pretty face, I am marring you for the beautiful person you are.

So I would marry you, even with your face covered. Your beauty shines, from within."

And the bride being veiled, is telling him, "This veil will help me from seeing, what type of wedding ring you place on my finger. I don't care, I will accept whatever ring you give; because I get you. It is you, I want to marry, not your money, or the jewelry you buy me."
___________
A rich person can lose his money, and a pretty girl her looks. But inner beauty, and spiritual wealth, are ours forever.

A marriage based on such eternal values, will conquer just about anything, forever…..

Life is Just a Pot of Chloent

2009-06-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

Question:
Rabbi, I appreciate your invitation to join your classes, but I just don't have time in my life for spirituality right now.

My week is packed with work, family commitments, fitness and a little socializing and time to relax.

I don't see where I can fit in spiritual activities. I don't want to burn out, do I?
____________
Answer:

There's a story that I'm sure you've heard before, and it has probably been forwarded to you as an email hundreds of times, but I will tell it anyway.

There was once a Rabbi teaching a classroom full of students. He started his lesson by saying, "My dear students, today is our last class together, before you graduate.

For this special occasion, I am going to do something different. I am going to teach you the secret of a good cholent."

The students were aghast. Cholent, the traditional Shabbos stew, is a classic of Jewish cooking, but hardly a profound subject for a Rabbi, to teach his students for their final lesson.
_________________
The Rabbi took out a crock-pot, and filled it to the brim with potatoes. He then turned to his students and asked, "Tell me, now that I have filled the pot with potatoes - is the pot full?"

"Yes," his students replied, confused by the simplicity of the question, for there was no way to fit in any more potatoes into the pot.
_____________
With a smile, the Rabbi took out a bag of beans and poured it into the pot. The beans managed to slip between the spaces among the potatoes.

"Ok," said the Rabbi, "now is the pot full?" Looking into the pot the students agreed, that it was indeed full.

Without missing a beat the Rabbi took out a bag of barley, and poured it into the pot. The small kernels meandered effortlessly between the cracks and crevices, among the potatoes and beans.

"Now it's full," said the students.
_____________
"Really?" said the Rabbi, taking out his collection of spices. He then began shaking generous amounts of salt, pepper, paprika and garlic powder, all over the pot.

The students watched dumbfounded, as the spices easily settled into what had seemed to be, a completely full pot.

The Rabbi, obviously enjoying himself, asked again, "Is it full yet?"

Without waiting for the answer, the Rabbi produced a jug of water, and proceeded to pour its contents into the pot.

To the amazement of his students, he was able to empty the entire jug of water into the pot, without a drop spilling over the sides.
____________
"Alright,” said the Rabbi, a look of satisfaction on his face. "Now it really is full, right?" The students all nodded in agreement. "

Are you sure?" prodded the Rabbi., "Are you absolutely certain, that I can't fit anything more into this pot?"

Suddenly unsure of themselves, the students looked at each other nervously and said, "Surely you can't put anything else into there!"

With drama and pathos, the Rabbi raised a finger in the air, lowered it slowly, and flicked a switch on the side of the pot, turning on the heating element lying beneath.

"You see," said the Rabbi triumphantly, "I just filled the pot with the most important ingredient of all - warmth. Without it, the pot may as well be empty."
_____________
The Rabbi paused, and looked deeply into the eyes of his stunned students.

"My children," he finally addressed them, "you are about to leave my class, and go on to live busy lives.

In the big world out there, you will no longer have the luxury of studying holy texts all day. In time you will be consumed by the pressures of looking after a family and making a living.

But always remember this: your material pursuits are just the potatoes and beans of life. Your spirituality, that is the warmth.

"Until the fire is turned on, the pot is full of disparate ingredients. It is the warmth that unites them all, into one single stew.
______________
"If you don't maintain a spiritual connection, through praying every day, studying the holy books, and keeping focused on the true meaning of your lives; then you will end up as a cold cholent - very busy, very full, but completely empty.

When you have lost touch with your soul, your family life will suffer, your career will be unfulfilling, you won't even be motivated to exercise.
_____________
"But if you keep the fire burning in your soul, if you stick to a daily schedule that nourishes the spirit, even if it is only for a few minutes a day, then those few minutes will bring warmth and inspiration, to all your other activities.

A spiritual connection imbues your entire life with meaning, keeps you anchored and directed, inspired and motivated. It permeates all you do with a sense of purpose, and helps you succeed."
___________
"You may be wondering," continued the Rabbi, "how will you have time for all this? How will you be able to juggle the demands of material life, along with your spiritual development? You will find the answer by looking at the cholent.

Did you notice, that though the pot seemed full of potatoes and beans, barley, spices and water, when I added the warmth, it did not overflow? Never think, that adding spirituality to your schedule, will overburden you.

On the contrary, it will bring everything else in your life together, because it will remind you, why you do all these other things in the first place:
You work, in order to be able to live a life of meaning.
You get married, in order to bring the best out in yourself and your spouse.
You have children, in order to educate them in the ways of goodness.
You keep fit, in order to have the strength to fulfill your mission.

Spirituality is the warmth, that does not take up space, it creates more."
_________
With a loving smile the Rabbi concluded his farewell, with words of wisdom that I think apply equally to you:

"You should never think, that you are so busy that you can't afford to concentrate on your soul. The truth is, you can't afford not to.

May G-d bless you, that each and every one of you, should always be, a warm pot of cholent!"

Men are From Mars

2009-06-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

Question:
My husband just doesn't seem to get it. He came home over an hour late last night, without so much as calling to tell me, that he won't be on time.

This is the fifth time he has done this, and we are only married three months! It may seem pett, but it upsets me greatly. I don't want him to see me as a nagging wife, but what should I do?
_____________
Answer:
This may be disappointing, but it sounds like your husband is acting like a pretty normal guy. And you sound pretty normal too. That's why you are having this problem.

There is something you need to know about men, they are loners. Being in a relationship, is unnatural to them. They do not automatically think about, how their actions affect someone else. The default emotional state of a man, is loneliness.

This is not true of women. A woman has an innate sense of relationship, of connection to others. A woman naturally shares of herself and bonds with others, a man does not. She is a relationship being, he is a lonely being.
_________
Of course, it is a big generalisation to say, that all men are loners, and all women are connectors, and generalisations are never accurate. But to say generalisations are never accurate, is itself a generalisation, and thus not accurate either.

So let's generalise: Man's natural state, is to be single. Woman's natural state, is to be in a couple.
______________
There is a solid base for this theory. It stretches all the way back to the beginning of time, to the first man and the first woman, Adam and Eve. Adam was created alone. His original state, was that of a bachelor.

But Eve was created from Adam. She was never single. Eve by her very nature was a relationship being, because she was created with her partner next to her.

She had an inborn sense of interconnectedness, she intuitively knew, that we are not alone in this world, that our actions impact others, and that we can and must be sensitive, to those around us. This was innate to her psyche, for she was never alone.

But all this was new to Adam. He had to learn what a relationship means, and how to be aware of another, for at his core he was a lonely being.

Adam is the essential man, and Eve the essential woman. And so until today, women are relationship beings, and men are lonely beings. Not that, all women are good at relationships, and not that, all men are hopeless hermits.

Rather, women are more likely, to know how to bond with others, and men are more likely, to keep their emotions to themselves.
__________
So your husband has no idea why you are upset when he comes home late. He may be thinking, "Why can't she occupy herself until I get there? Is she so insecure, that she can't look after herself for an extra hour or so?"

What he doesn't yet understand is, that while he is a loner, you are a connector. You don't need him to be physically with you all the time, but emotionally, he must be with you all the time. If he would just call to say he is late, you will not be feel alone, because he showed that he cares, he has bonded with you.
____________
Eve's mission was to help Adam come out of his isolation, and learn how to connect. You need to do this too. Explain to your husband, that it is not his lateness that upsets you, it is that he wasn't considerate enough to communicate his lateness, to you.

Help him understand, that he is no longer alone, and show him how beautiful the world is, when shared with someone else.

Give it time - you can't cure existential loneliness overnight. But if you persevere, with gentleness and love, he will open up that lonely place inside himself, and let you in.

Then you can share your lives in your own Garden of Eden, and never be lonely again.
____________
Question:

If the above is true, and women are such relationship experts, why can't my wife communicate clearly, and just say what she means?

It was her birthday yesterday, and when I mentioned it last week, she said, "Don't you dare do anything for my birthday!" So I didn't. Now she won't speak to me. I did exactly as she said, and I'm in trouble. Am I missing something?
___________
Answer:

Yes, you are missing something, it's called women's intuition. Your wife has it, and you never will. Men are literalists, women
are intuitive. It's been that way, since the beginning of time.

It all started with Adam and Eve. When G-d told Adam, "Do not eat of the fruit of knowledge, because if you do you will die", he took it literally.

But Eve read between the lines. She understood that when G-d says don't eat, He really means, "Eat, but I didn't tell you to". Eve (mistakenly) sensed, that G-d wanted humans to experience mortality and fallibility, He wanted them to know both good and evil, but He didn't want to force it on them, He wanted them to choose it.

She used her intuition to uncover what G-d really meant, according to her perception. That's why she ate of the fruit.
_____________
Eve acted intuitively, because that's how she was created. The verb used to describe G-d creating Eve was "Vayiven", which literally means G-d built Eve, but can also be translated as, "G-d endowed Eve with intuition."

She was given an additional insight ,to be able to read between the lines, and understand, what lies behind the words people say.
_________
To this day women possess this ability, to intuit hidden messages, and sense what is below the surface. And sometimes they mistakenly expect others to have this insight too. When your wife told you, she doesn't want anything for her birthday, she thought you would hear not her words, but her inner intention.

What she meant was, "I don't want to tell you, what I want for my birthday, I want it to come from you."

But being a man, not blessed with women's intuition, you took her on face value, and did as she said: nothing. Women's intuition is a wonderful gift, but your wife will have to learn that you simply don't have it.

Her female friends might know exactly what she means, even when she doesn't say it; but you, her husband, will only ever hear what she says, and act accordingly.

You must let her know, that you may never learn to read her mind, and teach her to say exactly what she means, and give you clear instructions.

This is not because, you are not in tune with her, and not because, you don't love or understand her. It is because, you are a man, and that's all you need to be.

Why do Chassidum Wear Dark Clothes?

2009-06-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

Question:
I wonder about the Hassidic, who wear dark clothes.

They are not expressing their individuality.

Max
________
Answer:
Obviously I can’t speak for others, only for myself. In my personal life I have found, the opposite to be true. The Hassidic dress code actually helps me become more creative, original and individualistic.

I will tell you why. You see, being an individual means, having something unique about yourself, that no one else has. According to you, to be original you need a weird shirt, cool shoes, and an unusual haircut.

The more unusual your “look,” the more you stand out from the crowd, and establish your identity as an individual. But let me ask you, is that really what makes you different from everyone else? Is that all you can do to be unique -- put on one outfit or another? Couldn't anyone do that?

Is that what really defines your unique, individualistic identity?
__________
In the Jewish tradition, what makes an individual, is not the clothing, but the character. When you are a part of a community of people, that all dress the same, there is only one way to stand out: You, have to be original, not your clothing.

The people around you notice you for your character: the way you treat people, your manner of speech, the flavor of your soul, the hue of your heart, the depth of your sacrifices, the quality of your relationships, the candidness of your communication.

You can't hide behind a superficial individuality, based on hairstyle and fashion -- you have to be a real individual.
_____________
Max, I'm not telling you, to go out and buy a black hat and jacket, everybody ought to dress the way they like. But perhaps you should rethink, how you look at yourself, and how you are projecting your image, to the world around you.

Is it possible, that many of us are obsessed with dressing peculiarly, only to compensate for the lack of a genuine sense of inner individuality; and the absence of awareness, of our unique place and mission in this world?

People who are truly comfortable with their individuality, don't need to let their hair grow to their knees, or tattoo themselves from head to toe, or walk around half-naked, just to prove that they are different.

Long hair, short hair, black pants, yellow pants, who cares? It is what's inside, that makes a man.

This consciousness, Max, is not acquired through a particular style of dress, it stems from an inner character.

What is Humility?

2009-06-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

Question:
In the Torah it says, "And Moses was exceedingly humble, more than any man on the face of the earth".

What does this mean?
________
Answer:
Before I answer your question, allow me to make it even stronger.

It also says in the Torah, "Moses spoke face to face with G-d", "No man like Moses ever lived;" and countless other similar praises.

How could Moses write all this, if he is indeed humble? _______________
The question is based on a misunderstanding, of what humility is. If being humble means, thinking of yourself as a good-for-nothing, then your question is a good one. But that's not humility, that's low self-esteem, which is the opposite of humility.

Truly humble people, recognize their own talents and achievements; but they don't take credit for them. They feel, that their talents are gifts from G-d.

They truly believe, that their achievements are only due, to the opportunities that came their way.

No matter how successful, popular and gifted, they may be, it won't go to their head, because they feel, that it isn't their own accomplishment.
___________
Moses was more humble, than any man on the face of the earth. He was fully aware, of the amazing feats that he had achieved. He took the Israelites out of Egypt, led them through the desert; and spoke to G-d on Mount Sinai, for forty days and forty nights.

No other human in history had reached such heights, and Moses knew it. But he truly believed, that his greatness was a Divine gift; and had somebody else been given his opportunities, they would have utilized them better than he did.

He would look at the simplest of people and think, "If he was in my shoes, he would have been a better Moses, than me."
___________
To see yourself as worthless, is not humility; that's just being ungrateful. G-d has blessed each one of us with unique qualities, and we should be aware of that. In fact, only when we are aware of our self-worth, can we be humble.

We are humbled when we ask ourselves, "I have been given the potential for greatness - have I used this gift?"

How do I Know that G-D Exists?

2009-06-10T15:27:00.000-07:00

Question:

Is there any proof of G-d?
____________
Answer:
Imagine you could do a blood test, to determine who your soul-mate is. You would go to a laboratory with a prospective partner, and give blood samples; and half an hour later they would tell you, yes or no.

Sounds great? But think about it: Is that an ideal way to start a relationship? Would it be romantic to say, "Listen, the blood test came out positive, so let's get married"?

The truth is, we wouldn't appreciate a laboratory-tested soul-mate. What creates a bond, is that it comes from within.

If we base a meeting Simone on external evidence, such as a blood test, we would indeed be sure, but the bond of a relationship would be lost.

Experience is an essential ingredient of true love; but certainty, is not. You will never know if this person is your wife or husband, unless you first go out with them, and see and feel for yourself.
____________
This is why proving G-d, is not helpful. G-d wants us to enter into a relationship with Him, by choice, not by force. He created us as free beings, who can deny Him if we want. There is no outside force, argument or proof, that compels us to serve G-d.
For this reason, when we do serve Him, it is by a choice that it is coming from within us, and that is the basis for a real relationship.

We need to first experience the infinite G-d, through doing Mitzvahs, learning Torah, and learning Chassidus, etc.

____________
There are many logical proofs of G-d's existence, and the truth of Torah.

But most people are only ready to accept these proofs, after they have already established a relationship with G-d; just as most people only recognize their soul-mate, after they have already met them, and formed a relationship.
____________
If you wait until you know for sure, that you have found your soul-mate, you may remain single forever. And if you wait for proof of G-d's truth, you may live forever in a lonely universe.

Embrace uncertainty, and open yourself up to a real relationship. When you make that choice, you will find proof of G-d, within your own soul.

I Feel Like A Hypocrite

2009-06-10T15:25:00.000-07:00

Question:
I feel like a liar saying the prayers, when I don't know if I believe in them. How can I proclaim "love G-d with all your heart", when I don't really feel that way?
_________
Answer:
You have been married a couple of years now. I know that you love your wife dearly. But have you ever woken up one morning, with a sense that, you've lost that loving feeling?

It could be, that there has been a little tension between you (something perfectly normal in any good relationship), or maybe you have been feeling down for other reasons, or perhaps for no apparent reason at all; you just feel, that your heart has turned to stone, and the warmth and love you once felt, has all but disappeared.
___________
What if, just at that moment, your wife asked you, "Do you love me?" Would it be a lie to tell her, that you love her? Should you rather be honest and say, "Darling, right now, I'm not sure I do"?

Of course not! You should tell her confidently, "Of course I love you!" (And she'll say, "I know, I just had to hear it"). And that is not a lie.

Because you do love her, it is just that, the love is not manifest in your heart at that moment. It is there, it hasn't gone anywhere, but your heart is blocked, and is not allowing you to openly experience your loving feeling.

Just because you don't feel the love, doesn't mean that you are no longer in love. You are just going through a "low," as we all do from time to time; but the love is really there, as it always was.
___________
So it is perfectly honest to say "I love you," even at a moment when you don't feel it. And something weird happens when you do. Your heart starts to melt.

Just by mouthing the words "I love you," not because you felt like saying it, but because she needed to hear it, you have reached out of yourself, breaking through the shell that is blocking your heart.

Now you are open to feel again. It won't be long, before the love starts gushing back, more powerful and passionate than ever.
__________
The same applies to our relationship with G-d. Our soul loves G-d already, because our soul is a part of Him. But we often don't feel that love in our hearts. We are spiritually blocked, our hearts are cold, to the soul and its feelings.

The love is there, just like the soul is there, it is just not felt, not apparent.

We don't have to wait for those feelings to come, in order to pray. Sometimes it is the other way around -- by saying the words of the prayers, even without feeling them, the layers of cynicism and doubt, then start to melt away, and our soul starts to shine through.

In fact, there is no deeper prayer than this. When you tell your wife you love her, not because you feel that way right now, but because she needs to hear it, and you know it's really true; what deeper expression of love could there be?

In the same way, when you say the prayer, not because you feel it, but because G-d wants to hear it, then you are truly saying it for Him, and not for youself.

G-d Wants His Children to Follow Their Path

2009-06-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

Question:
As a Rabbi, how do you explain the fact, that there are so many other religions, and only a tiny minority of the world's population believes in Judaism?
__________
Answer:
Jim, do you have brothers and sisters? If you do, I'm sure you'll agree, that each of you is different. One of you may be musical, another a sports freak, and yet another more academically inclined.

Each of you is an individual, and that should be encouraged.

It would be wrong of parents, to treat all their kids the same. If they would have forced you all to play violin, or soccer, or to read Shakespeare, it would have been counter-productive.

Good parents know, that each child has to be allowed to develop, in their own unique way.
________
The nations of the world, are all G-d's children. He doesn't treat them all the same, because they aren't all the same. He wants each nation to develop in its own way. So each nation has a different path, to reach their full potential.

To the Jewish nation, he gave the Torah as our way of expressing our souls. But Judaism is not for everyone. We don't believe, that a non-Jew needs to become Jewish, to find G-d; just like a musically-talented child, shouldn't be forced, to play soccer.

Anyone can convert, but that is up to them.
__________
G-d created different nations, because each has a unique contribution to offer the world. Maybe your "mission" should be, to ensure that your nation fulfils its purpose.

Is Religion Responsible for War?

2009-06-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

Question:
Wouldn't the world be better off, without religion? Wouldn't there be less wars? So why should I practice Judaism?
___________
Answer:
Rejecting Judaism, because you believe in world peace, is like refusing to enter a Japanese restaurant because, you like sushi. It just doesn't make sense.
__________
War comes naturally to people. It existed long before any religion, peace did not. Peace is not natural to humans, it had to be learned, because It was a religious idea.

The first and most powerful vision of world peace, was presented to mankind, by the prophets of ancient Israel.

They predicted a time, when "one nation will not lift a sword, against another nation, and they will no longer learn to wage war."

In a world that saw war as an inevitable fact of life, the Jewish religion introduced a radical new concept: that war is ultimately undesirable, and peace is the ideal state, for which to strive.

Without religion, we would find other things to fight about, like parking spots, and noise from the neighbors. But without religion, the possibility of world peace, would never have been considered, or striven for.
_________
Whether you are aware if it or not, the source of your dream of world peace is Biblically inspired. Ideals do not live in bubbles, like people, they need parents to give birth to them, and a home environment to help them grow.

Peace without religion, is tenuous, and would starve. It is Judaism that gave birth to the reality of world peace, and provides the framework, to implement that goal.
____________
Religion has been used by some as a pretext for war. But this does not invalidate all religion; just as when football players brawl, it does not invalidate the entire game of football.

Abolishing football, would do nothing to create harmony; and ridding the world of all religion, would not end war.

In fact, religion still provides the strongest argument for peace between people, being: that we were all created by the same G-d.

Without this belief, is there anything else, that truly unites us all?

Does Judaism Respects all Mankind?

2009-06-10T15:19:00.000-07:00

Question:
I was wondering, if there is such a person as a Jewish fundamentalist?

If so, what percent of Jews would or could be classified as Fundamentalist? And, what would their core beliefs be?
__________
Answer:
I'm not sure what your definition of fundamentalist is, but here's mine: A fundamentalist is someone, who believes that theirs is the only true path, and anyone who does not follow their ways, is evil.

The fundamentalist sees only two options for the rest of humanity - join us, or suffer the consequences. Other nations are there, to either missionize or destroy; and any belief system that does not conform with theirs, is to be eradicated.
___________
A fundamentalist, is not the same as an extremist. There are those who are passionate or even extreme, about their own beliefs, whether a born-again Christian, devout Muslim, radical liberal or die-hard atheist.

We can debate the pros and cons of each of these belief systems, but a strong conviction alone, doesn't make you a fundamentalist.

It is when you cannot accept, that there may be another road to truth, and that not everyone has to fit in to your own world view - that is when you have strayed into the realm of fundamentalism.
__________
For this reason, Judaism can never tolerate fundamentalism. Quite simply, we don't believe that Judaism is for everyone.

Jewish thought is comfortable with the belief, that there are many paths to G-d; Judaism is the path for Jews, and non-Jews can find Him in different ways.

They can live a moral and good life, without keeping the laws, or sharing the beliefs of Judaism.

Anyone can join Judaism by converting, but this is not necessary - a non-Jew can be fulfilled, become close to G-d, and earn a place in heaven, all without becoming Jewish.

I think it is this universalistic approach, that has saved Judaism from fundamentalism.
_______
Don't get me wrong - there are certainly Jewish extremists and troublemakers, but Judaism poses a challenge to the fundamentalist:

If you really love G-d so much, shouldn't you also love all His children, who are created in His image?

Judaism is the Path, Not the Luggage

2009-06-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

Question:
My family are typical disappearing Jews. Each generation drifts a little further away from Judaism.

My grandparents were strictly religious; my parents were not, but were still quite traditional.

But my generation is Jewish by name only, they are not involved with anything Jewish.

At this rate, what will my kids look like? Is there any way to stop this trend?
__________
Answer:
Have you seen the new regulations about taking luggage onto a plane? Some airlines don't allow you on the plane, with any hand-luggage.

There's a spiritual message in that: If you have too much baggage, you can't get on the flight.
___________
Many of us see Jewishness, as a big bag of treasure, handed down from one generation to another. This bag is very precious, full of wise advice, rich tradition and meaningful insight. But it can be a burden. It's heavy to carry three thousand years of baggage, as you travel along the road of life.

As valuable as the treasure may be, it will sometimes seem impractical to carry it all. Each generation will try to lighten the baggage, by choosing what seem to be the most important things, and discard the excess baggage.
_____________
But there is another way to look at it. Judaism is not the luggage we carry through the journey of life; it itself is, the journey of life.

It is not something we take on our travels, it is the path that we travel. Jewishness is not static: you don't carry it, you live it.
It is not a treasure, that belonged to your parents; it is a journey, that belongs to you.

Judaism is no something that you do, it is something that you are!
___________
Jewish commitment, is not measured by how much we do, but rather by how far we have traveled. It is not about how religious I am today; it is about how much I have grown.

If we are growing in our spiritual connection, if we are learning more about our tradition, if we are deepening our commitment to G-d, then we are on the road.Then this message will seep down to the next generation.

Our children will make their own choices, and there are no guarantees, but one thing is clear: our children's view of Judaism is shaped, by the way we live it.

If we carry Judaism as a burden, then that's what it will be to them - and the burden may seem too heavy.

But if we embrace our own Jewishness as a soul journey, then our children will more likely, want to come along for the ride.

Tell your children, that even without luggage, you can still fly.

It's Not Just Cricket (Moshiach)

2009-06-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

Question:
The one Jewish ideal, that I can't get understand, is Moshiach - the belief in the coming of a Messianic era.

What good is achieved, by awaiting some future time, when there will be peace on earth?

Shouldn't we focus on the present, rather than dreaming about the future? Why is the belief in the coming of the Moshiach, so central to Judaism?
____________
Answer:
Some of the deepest truths, I have learnt from my cricket coach. He was a sharp guy, with a keen eye for detail. He would observe my batting style, and point out what I needed to work on.

But I gained more than just cricket advice: one consistent flaw in my batting, was my follow through.

The coach noticed, that as soon as my bat hits the ball, my arms lock, and the bat stops. No good, he said. "You need a full follow through. After hitting the ball, you must keep swinging, making a complete semi-circle in the air."
___________
This made no sense to me.

What difference does it make, what I do with the bat, after I have hit the ball? Contact already has been made, between bat and ball; and whatever power I have put into the shot, is there already. Will the ball travel further, if I follow through?

I can understand, why back swing is important - the more I pull the bat back, the more momentum the swing has. But once the ball is hit, who cares what I do with the bat? Whether I keep swinging or stop, or throw the bat away, should make no difference to the ball, that has already been hit. Why follow through?
____________
My coach gave me the answer. The end, affects the beginning. The follow-through doesn't begin after you hit the ball; it begins as soon as you, lift the bat.

A swing that will end in a full follow-through, is a different swing entirely. The affect of what will be later, is affected by what I do now. The beginning destination or goal, will influence the whole journey.
___________
This principle - that the end point shapes the whole - is true in cricket, baseball, tennis and golf. And it's true in life, too. What you believe about tomorrow, shapes how you view today.

Where your life is headed in the future, will determine how your life is lived now. If the world is randomly hurtling through space, bound to eventually collide with an asteroid and return to vapor, then human history is a directionless romp through time; we are going nowhere, and my life certainly has no significance.

Why work, why build, why love, if it all ends in nothingness?
___________
But if the world is heading toward a purpose, for which it was created. Since human history is a long journey, with a clear and wonderful destination; then what I do today is very important.

My efforts today, can bring the world a little closer to its purpose.

My lifetime builds, on the lifetimes that came before me, and gives a better world to those who will come after me. Bringing us ever closer, to Moshiach.
___________
We are not just propelled by our past; we are beckoned by our future. Believing in a Messianic future: a world of peace and divine closeness: inspires me today, to take a step further, in that goal and journey.

The Moshiach ideal, makes the world better now. It may even improve, my batting average.

Our Relationship With G-D

2009-06-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

Question:
Rabbi, If G-d is perfect, why did He create us?

A perfect being isn't missing anything, so why would He need us? And if He doesn't need us, is our life meaningless? Are we just some divine experiment?
_________
Answer:
You are absolutely correct: G-d, being perfect, was missing nothing before creation. There is no possible need, that this world can fulfill for Him.

He doesn't need anything. Therefore, creating us must not have been in order to fulfill a need. It was something G-d chose to do.

He doesn't need us, He wants us.
__________
What does G-d want from us?
The one thing He didn't have before creation, was a relationship, He was alone. What He wanted from this world, was a relationship with free beings.

So He created us, and gave us ways of connecting to Him - the commandments.
___________
But we can't say, that He needed this relationship with us. He may have been alone before creation, but he was still G-d - perfect and missing nothing. He didn't need a relationship, He wanted it.
___________
Does this make our life unnecessary? Did G-d make us just for fun?

No, on the contrary. When you have a relationship with someone, just because you need them (such as a cleaning lady, or a family doctor), then when that need has been fulfilled, the relationship ends.

The connection is dependent, on them providing a service; and will only last as long, as that service is needed.

But when you have a relationship with someone, simply because you want to, because you have chosen to connect to them, then that bond is intrinsic.

You don't love them; because of what they do for you' you love them, for who they are - and that is forever.
___________
G-d doesn't need us; He wants us. He didn't give us commandments, because He needs them to be fulfilled; but rather because, He wants us to unite with Him.

If we were created, because G-d needed us to do something, then once that mission was fulfilled, we would be useless.
___________
But G-d needs nothing; He chose to bring us into being, as a pure act of love.

That is the test of true love: if my beloved could no longer provide me with my needs, would I still love them, just for being my beloved?

By creating us, G-d answered- Yes!

Profane Language

2009-06-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

Question:
What is the Jewish view of dirty language?
_________
Answer:
Foul language is spiritually unhygienic. It is like scrubbing the toilet with your toothbrush, and then using it to brush your teeth.

If you wouldn't do that, then you shouldn't use the same mouth for profanity, that you use for words of friendship, love and prayer.

Like pure water, flowing through rusty pipes, even words of love, when coming from a dirty mouth, cannot help but become stained.
___________
Speech is a powerful gift. When used correctly, the spoken word can build and strengthen relationships, give comfort and support, and sometimes even save a life.

Our words can lift a heavy heart, and inspire a lost soul. Words of prayer, can reach the heavens; words of care, can go even higher.
__________
The words we say, do not just disappear. They hover around us, forming the air we breathe, and the atmosphere in which we live. Holy words create, an aura of holiness around us.
__________
Words that are obscene, slanderous, abusive or untrue, foul the air, like a spiritual pollution. They are no less lethal, than second-hand smoke.

In the bathroom, there are two brushes - a toilet brush, and a tooth brush. It's not hard to keep them separate.

Try to only use the tooth brush.

Is There Only One G-D?

2009-06-10T14:52:00.000-07:00

Question:
I accept that some sort of "Higher Being" created the universe. But why couldn't there be, many such beings? Is there any logical reason to say, that there is only one G-d?
_________
Answer:
The definition of G-d is: "a Being without definition." G-d cannot be defined, because if I define Him, then I limit Him. And something limited, is not G-d. By defining something, I give it borders.

If for example I define an apple as a sweet, round fruit, that is green or red; then when I find a long purple fruit, I know that it can't be an apple.

An apple is limited, to being round and red or green. That is its definition.
___________
G-d can't be defined, because by defining Him, you are saying, that there's something He can't be; but this can not be true, because G-d is unlimited.

That's why, there can be only one G-d. Because if you don't have a definition, then there is nothing outside of you. There can be no "other".
________
An example: two neighboring countries, can only be called two countries, when there is a border in between them. But if a country has no borders, if there is no defined place where it ends and another country begins, how can you say that there are two countries?

G-d has no borders, so how can there be more than one god? Where would one god end, and one begin, if there is no dividing line between them?
__________
The act of creation, is the act of making borders, and drawing definitions: this is an apple and not a banana, this is land and this sea. Creation has definitions.

The Creator doesn't have a definition, that's what makes Him G-d, and that's why there can only be one

Services Every Week?

2009-06-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

Question:
To be honest, I don't see why people go to services every single Shabbat. I go once or twice a year, and that seems quite enough.
__________
Answer:
I am glad to hear, that you have taken up jogging. But do you really have to jog every week? Isn't once a year enough?

Of course not, you will say. To stay fit, you have to keep a regular schedule. If you don't exercise enough, the body becomes sluggish and lazy.

People who don't exercise, may say they feel fine, as if they really don't need to exercise at all. But really, they're fooling themselves - they are so lazy, that they can't face the fact, that they're out of shape.

At the same time, if you exercise too much, you may overdo it, and injure yourself; then not only can't you exercise - you collapse! You have to challenge your body, and stretch it to its limits, but not beyond its limits.

If you hit the right balance between overdoing and under performing, then your fitness gradually improves, and in time you find, that you can do much more, and it gets much easier.
__________
The health of the soul, is similar to the health of the body. If we don't challenge ourselves spiritually, we can easily become complacent, and settle for a life of monotony and mediocrity.

We become so desensitized, that we don't even feel we are missing anything.

But if we try to change our lives too fast, and jump into spirituality, we can burn out, and fall lower than we were before.
______________
Each person has to realistically assess, what they need to do, to keep their souls in shape. Where am I getting my inspiration from? When was the last time I made internal changes, and grew as a person?

Am I pushing myself to my soul's limits, or just coasting? How can I challenge myself, to advance my spiritual fitness?
___________
Going to synagogue, is one form of spiritual exercise. It is a time to flex the muscles of the soul through: prayer, contemplation and study.

Although ultimately, just as everyone has to eat three times a day, in oder to be healty; so too, everyone needs to pray three times a day, in order to be spiritually healthy.

We were created by G-d, to continually be connected to Him. We do this, through the means He created; prayer, study, Mitzvos, ect.
________
But if one is not in shape, one must not jump into a full schedule of exercise, or one will burn out; so too spiritually, one must ease into it, so as not to burn out.

Sometimes you need a "trainer" to advise you where to start, and what to do next. I think I know, just the Rabbi you need...

Sweet Stings On Rosh Hashanah

2009-06-10T14:49:00.000-07:00

Question:
On Rosh Hashanah we eat apples and honey, for a sweet new year.

My question is, why specifically apples and honey? There are many sweet foods. Is there anything significant about them?
_______
Answer:
There is a difference, between the sweetness of an apple, and the sweetness of honey.

An apple is a sweet fruit, that comes from a tree.

But honey comes from a bee - an insect that is not Kosher; and not only that, it stings. Nevertheless, the honey that it produces is sweeter than an apple.
____________
Similarly, there are two types of sweetness in our lives. We have times of family celebration, successes in our careers, personal triumphs, and harmonious relationships. These are sweet times, like the apple is sweet.

But then there is a different type of sweetness; a sweetness that comes from times of challenge.

When things don't go, how we would like them; when tragedy strikes, when our job is in jeopardy, when we fail to reach the goals we expected of ourselves; and when our relationships are being strained and tested, and when we feel alone.
___________
At the time, when we are facing these challenges, they seem bitter and insurmountable, like the sting of a bee.

But if we are strong, and withstand the difficult times, and overcome the obstacles to our happiness; we then reveal a deeper layer of our being (the soul), that we would never have tapped into, if we weren't challenged.

Something deeper is brought out, when we are tested. Tension in a relationship is painful, but there's nothing better, than reconciling after that tension.

Losing a job is degrading, but how often is it that we find bigger and better things, to move on to. Loneliness can eat us up, but it can open us up, to higher levels of self-knowledge.

We have all experienced events in our lives, that at the time were painful, but in retrospect, we say, "Thank G-d for the tough times, imagine where I would be without them!"
___________
So we eat apples and honey, on the first day of the new year. And we bless each other and ourselves, that in the year to come, the apples should bring us sweetness; but also that the bee stings, should be even sweeter!

The Beard

2009-06-10T14:48:00.000-07:00

Question:
I have often wondered, why many religious Jews have long beards. Is this, like the Kipah, a means of identifying oneself as a Jew, or do they serve some other purpose?
__________
Answer:
There is more to the beard, than just identifying as a Jew. According to Kabbalah, the beard should not even be trimmed, rather it should be allowed to grow freely. Why?

Kabbalistically, our outer physical appearance, is a reflection, of our inner spiritual reality.
Our hands represent, our ability to give and receive; our feet symbolize, the power to progress. What does the beard represent?
____________
One of the greatest struggles in life, is to live up to our ideals. Many of us know, what is right, but find it difficult, to apply that knowledge to our daily lives. Often we do things that we know are wrong, but feel we "couldn't help ourselves".

For example, we know that it is wrong to lose our temper, but when we get annoyed at someone, we find it impossible to control our anger. Or we may know, that it is good to give charity, but never get around to actually giving.

Between theory and practice, there is a huge gulf. It is one thing, to have good intentions, but that is far, from actually doing good. It is like a dream; that without diligence, determination and hard work, it will always remain just a dream.

The greatest step we can take in our personal growth, is learning to bridge this gap, and implement our good intentions. _________
This is what the beard represents. The beard is hair, that grows down from the head, to the rest of the body. It is the bridge, between: mind and heart, thoughts and actions, theory and practice, good intentions and good deeds.

So we don't cut the beard, but rather let it flow freely, to create a direct flow, from the intangible ideals and philosophies in our minds, down into the deeds of our everyday life.

The Kabbalah Fad

2009-06-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

Question:
What are your thoughts, on the masses learning Kabbalah? Is it good, or is it a fad?
________
Answer:
I'm not sure how authentic the "Kabbalah" being studied by Madonna is, but I would imagine, there are much worse things she could be doing with her time. If indeed, it has made her a better person - good for her.

I think it's great, that more people are interested in Kabbalah. Although it was a restricted area of study in earlier generations, the Kabbalists always said, that a time would come, when their teachings would be available to everyone.

Its blend of: profound thought, and down-to-earth spirituality, that is needed today.
___________
The question is not so much, who can study Kabbalah, but rather, how can you tell, if it's the real thing.

What concerns me is, that some modern exponents of the Kabbalah claim, that it is a separate religion, distinct from Judaism. This claim is not only untrue, it is self-destructive.

I predict, that this idea of divorcing Kabbalah from its Jewish roots, will spell the end of the so-called "Kabbalah movement." The real Kabbalah will thrive, but the cheap imitations, will go the way of all the other fads.

The Kabbalists call Jewish mysticism, the Pardes, meaning "The Garden." What is the parallel between a garden and mysticism?

If you see a beautiful flower in a garden, you may have the urge to pick it, and take it home to enjoy its beauty.

But a flower won't last long, out of its natural habitat. Once it is disconnected from its life-force, it will very quickly wither and die.
_____________
Taking Kabbalah out of its Jewish context, is like picking a flower from a garden. It looks beautiful and smells nice for a while, but soon, it starts to wither, rot, and stink.

Kabbalah is a living, breathing spirituality, that is nourished by the rich soil, of Jewish wisdom and practice. But those who are calling it a separate religion (for the obvious reason, of gaining a wider audience), are turning something deep and holy, into just another passing fad - it looks good, creates a stir, but won't last.
________
While one can taste the teachings of Kabbalah, even without being particularly observant of Judaism, you can't detach it from its source. Kabbalah, is the soul of Judaism.

And a body without a soul, is lifeless; and a soul without a body, has no connection to this world.

Judaism, without its soul, its mystical side, can become dry and unattractive. But Kabbalah, without the grounding of practical Judaism, is an uprooted flower.
____________
We are a searching generation. We've tried empty materialism, and it has failed to sustain us. We have experimented with spiritual escapism, and it has left us floating towards nowhere.

It is time to taste the fruits of The Garden - the deepest mystical insights, grounded in the fertile soil of tradition.

Now that's real Kabbalah!

Uninspired

2009-06-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

Question:

Rabbi, I am uninspired. I used to pray to G-d and study Torah, but I've lost the spark. I feel flat and empty, and I haven't done anything spiritual in ages.

What should I do, to find my soul again?
__________
Answer:
You remind me of myself. I haven't exercised in months, but I have a good excuse for my sluggishness, I am not in shape. I just don't have the energy to exercise right now; but I keep promising myself, that as soon as I am in shape, I will exercise.

Of course, it doesn't work that way. Fitness doesn't just happen to you, it takes work. The more you exercise, the more energetic you feel. But the more you neglect your body, the less motivated you feel to move it.

You can't wait for your energy level to rise, before exercising. It's the another way around, you need to force yourself to exercise, in order to raise your energy level.

By breaking your cycle of inertia, new energy will pump through your veins, and you feel alive again.
__________
What is true for the body, is true for the soul. You are presently uninspired, the only way out of spiritual inertia, is to just get moving. Walk away from your uninspired self, and do a soulful act: pray, study, care for others, etc.

It may seem forced at first, but as you smash through the barrier of lethargy, you will feel the flow of inspiration returning to your soul, and your spirit will be revived.

The secret, is to reach out of yourself. The moment you do something, not because you feel like it, but because it is right; not for yourself, but for G-d; you have stepped out of your uninspired reality.

You have transcended yourself, and you become open to your real self, your soul.
__________
Being unfit is no excuse, not to exercise, it's the best reason to exercise. And being uninspired, is no obstacle to a soul journey; just the opposite, it's the fuel that propels the journey.
_________
Inspiration is all around you, but your search for it, is getting in the way.

Stop looking for inspiration, and start to look beyond yourself and your moods. When you are empty, it is a sign, that you need to find the higher you. Just as when your gas tank gauge is on low, it is a sign that you need to refill.

I can think of nothing more inspiring, than that.

What is a Jewish Soul?

2009-06-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

Question:
Why do you speak of a "Jewish soul"? How can you differentiate between souls ?
Gary
________
Answer:
The idea, that all souls are the same, is one of the biggest mistakes of modern spirituality.

We are so used to thinking, that definitions create barriers, and barriers cause hatred; that we are convinced, that to be spiritual, means to have no borders.

From a Kabbalistic perspective, this totally misses the point of existence.
_____________
Before the creation, G-d had unity. G-d was all there was; there were no borders, definitions or distinctions. If unchallenged unity is what G-d wants, He had it already. He would not have needed to create the world.

Creation was an act of making borders. From unity, came multiplicity. Ours, is a world of divisions: body and soul, male and female; as well as the divisions of nations, families and individuals.
___________
Why did G-d create multiplicity? Doesn't that go against the oneness of G-d?

No, it doesn't. Because the deepest unity, is unity found within diversity. If we are all the same, then unity is no big deal.

So G-d gave us all particular souls, each with its unique and diverse characteristics. When each individual as an individual, and each nation from within its own culture and perspective, but nevertheless, recognizes the same G-d, that is real unity.

In other words, a unity that is challenged by diversity, yet emerges from that very diversity, is an invincible unity. That is something G-d "couldn't" have accomplished, without a world like ours.
____________
To blur the boundaries between nations, genders and individuals, is to avoid facing the challenge, which lies at the very heart of G-d's purpose in creation -- to find unity, in our differences.
__________
For the unity of humankind, we need one G-d; but for G-d's unity to be complete, we need human diversity.
Jews should be Jews, non-Jews should be non-Jews, men should be men, and women should be women.

And every individual has to be himself. Only then can we learn from each other, the wisdom that we ourselves lack.
_______
The majesty of G-d is revealed, when each individual and community, connects with Him, from his/her/their unique vantage point. There is a contribution, that only you can make, to G-d's master plan.

That's why you were born as you are -- a Jew, a male: and all the other distinctive spiritual characteristics, that make you "Gary."

Who Created G-D?

2009-06-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Question:
I've often heard the argument, that there must be a G-d, because creation is so well designed, that there must be a designer.

For example, the human brain is so complex, it must have a creator, so G-d must exist.

That makes sense, but by using the same logic, I can ask the question: Who created G-d?
____________
Answer:
Before creation, there was nothing but G-d, nothing else. When we say that G-d is the Creator, we don't just mean He created solid objects, like planets, trees and aardvarks; we mean, that He created everything.

Anything you can think of, every single existence, on every plain, and in every dimension, was once not, and G-d made it be.

That means, that even concepts were created by G-d. G-d not only created the concrete universe, made up of gases, solids and liquids; He also created all of the abstract realities, such as love, goodness, purpose and logic.

These concepts did not exist, before He created them.
____________
One concept G-d created, is the very concept of creation. G-d created the idea, that you can have nothing, and make something out of it.

The very notion, that something has a beginning, a point at which it came into existence - that notion itself, was created by G-d. The concept itself didn't exist before.

Just like there were no trees, before G-d created the first tree; so too there were no beginnings, before G-d created the first beginning. So your question is based, on a false premise.
___________
You can't ask, "Who created G-d?", because the whole concept of creating, was G-d's idea in the first place. There was no such thing as creation, before G-d came up with it.

Just as it is obvious, that the person who made the first cartoon, was not himself a cartoon; so too G-d, who invented the concept of creation, is not Himself a creation.
___________
G-d, the Creator, never changes, He is always the same; He always was, and always will be.

Humans, created beings that we are, do not remain the same. We once were not, and we had to be brought into being, and one day, we will be no longer.

And that is why we are so special, because as creations, we have the power to change; and that's the greatest gift of being human.

Who is Your G-D?

2009-06-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Question:
What do you say to a scientist who doesn't believe in G-d? He says, belief is irrational and unscientific.

What do you tell, a godless intellectual?
_________
Answer:
Everyone has a god. There is not a sane person on earth, who doesn't believe in one. The question is only, which one.

Your god is the thing, that you believe to be infallible; you trust in its power, despite any evidence to the contrary; you believe it will always be there, cannot be defeated, is all-powerful and omnipresent.

The thing you can fall back on, no matter what, the bedrock of your life - whatever that may be - that is your god.
___________
If you think science has all the answers, and something is only true if it is scientifically proven, then science is your god.

Belief in science can be as irrational, as any religious conviction. Its adherents blindly accept the most outlandish theory, as long as it was presented, by an expert in the field.
__________
Science is only one common god. Another one is love. Believers in love, make lofty statements about its divine qualities: "Love conquers all", "Love is forever", "All you need is love", "Love is the only thing worth dying for".

Even though experience has shown, that love is not all you need, and it certainly doesn't conquer all; their faith is not shaken by scientifc evidence.

Others worship money. "Everything has a price," is their creed. And no matter how many miserable millionaires they meet, their god remains infallible; and they continue to have faith in money, as the source of all goodness and happiness.
______________
A very popular modern god, is self. "Believe in yourself, you are capable of anything. If you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do".

Nothing you can't do, sounds pretty divine. It's a pity that it's not true, we all have limitations.

There are things that are simply beyond our capability. But to the believer, no evidence will move his faith, in himself.
____________
It is such a relief to just let G-d, be G-d. If G-d is G-d, I can be human. I am not G-d, nothing about me is infallible: - not my feelings, my intelligence, and certainly, not my bank balance.

I don't have to be perfect, G-d does a good job of that.

Science, love, money and self, are all very important. But they are also fickle, ever-changing, and unpredictable. But the G-d of Israel, hasn't changed.

If anyone or anything should be god, it's G-d.
Seems rational to me.

Why Are We Not Vegetarians?

2009-06-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Question:
If Judaism requires us to be kind to animals, shouldn't we be commanded to be vegetarians?
______
Answer:
I have the utmost respect for anyone,who chooses not to eat meat, out of concern for animal welfare. And there have been some who have suggested, that this is in keeping with Judaism's ideals, (although all agree, that Judaism allows eating meat).

But there is another way of looking at it, a more spiritual angle, that reveals, that eating meat is not just an accommodation to human desire, but has a holy purpose.
_______
The Talmud teaches, that the reason Adam and Eve were created after all other creatures, was to teach them a dual lesson: humans can be either the pinnacle of creation, or its lowest life-form.

If they act appropriately, then everything was created just to serve them; but if they debase themselves, then they should remember that, "even a flea preceded you."

The human being is the only creature, with free-choice. This means, that we can either work on ourselves, and become better than our nature; or abuse our gifts, and become worse.

Only a human can be, generous, kind, selfless, and act higher than his or her instincts; and only a human can be, cruel, destructive and murderous.

(Although sometimes animals do what seem like acts of kindness or destruction, they are invariably just following their instinct for survival -- there is no altruism or malice, in their actions.)
_________________
When we use our freedom, to act in a kind, holy and selfless way, we are the highest life form, and the rest of creation is there to serve us.

Then, by eating other creatures, we are in fact elevating them, to places where they couldn't go by themselves.
________
For example, if I eat a tomato, and then use the energy in that tomato, by doing an act of kindness; the tomato then has become a partner in my action; thus making the world a better place -- something a tomato can't do on its own.

On the other hand, if I use my energy, only to further selfish goals, or to oppress or inflict harm, then what right do I have to eat a tomato? The tomato never hurt anybody, and by eating it and causing harm, I am corrupting an innocent tomato!
_________
This is why Judaism doesn't see eating animals, as necessarily being cruel. In fact, it could even be cruel not to eat animals, because you are robbing them of a chance, to serve a higher purpose, (unless of course it is for health reasons).

However, if you yourself are not living a life of purpose, then it is just as cruel, to eat a tomato, as a chicken!

If the physical world is your only reality, then you have reason to feel guilty when you consume other life forms. But when you see the spiritual world as just as real (if not more), then even eating can become holy, and we thereby become partners with G-d in the creation.

Why Do Rabbis Discourage Conversions?

2009-06-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

Question:
I am a bit confused. I have many Jewish friends, but they are mostly indifferent, and sometimes even hostile, towards their own religion.

I myself am not Jewish, but I have studied Judaism, and love it; and am very excited about converting.

My confusion is this: when I went to speak to a Rabbi about conversion, he discouraged me from converting, saying, that it is more serious than I think; and that I can live a fulfilled life, without becoming Jewish.

I told him, how excited I am about Judaism, but he still discouraged me.

I am thirsty for Judaism and I am being discouraged, while so many Jews, are not even open to learning more, about their own religion!
_______
Answer:
There is a Jewish belief, that Judaism is not just good for the Jewish soul, it's natural for the Jewish soul.

The soul feels at home, when it says Hebrew prayers, experiences a Shabbat table, or puts up a Mezuzah. These actsm are what makes the Jewish soul comfortable. A Jew has an innate affinitym towards Judaism.
_____________
So why do so many Jews, seem not interested in their religion? Because there is another Jewish belief, that every energy, has a counter-energy, (matter and anti-matter).

If the Jewish soul is attracted to Judaism, there must be an equal and opposite force, that drives the Jew away from Judaism.

Materialism, cynicism, laziness, apathy -- all these and more, conspire to drive the Jew away from connecting to his/her Jewishness. In fact, the more powerful the Jewish soul, the more intense this resistance will be.
_____________
And it must be this way, otherwise, the spiritual life would be too easy -- a Jewish soul, would just naturally fall into Judaism.
But G-d wants us to be challenged. When Jews practice Judaism, they are taking upon themselves the life-long challenge, to overcome these internal obstacles, and find their deeper self.
_______
When a non-Jew approaches Judaism, it is a whole different story. He or she has no "baggage," so he/she is open to what Judaism has to say. He/she may be attracted, or may not be -- but he/she doesn't have the emotional resistance, that a Jew does.

This is why many non-Jews come to respect Judaism, when they actually study it. They are coming with an open heart and mind, unlike the Jew, who initially can have a resistance, to anything Jewish.
_____________
This is fine -- until the non-Jew considers conversion. He may feel, that Judaism has a depth and warmth that he seeks, he may feel good going to synagogue and celebrating festivals; and this may lead him to think, that it would be so easy to just become Jewish, and make it his spiritual home.

But there is one factor that he's not aware of.

Now it all seems so nice and comfortable, because you're just visiting. It's not yours yet, so you can look at it objectively, and just enjoy it for what it is, without any resistance. But the minute you become Jewish, everything changes.

Conversion means, not only you receive the Jewish soul, but you also receive the Jewish baggage, that weighs you down, and tries to hold you back from being an active Jew. (Again, in order to retain balance and give you a challenge).
________
This is one reason, why we discourage converts. We set obstacles in their way, so they can taste what it's really like to be Jewish. So that it should be clear from the outset, that a Jewish life, is not an easy one.

There will always be obstacles, the only difference is, before conversion the obstacles are from without -- stubborn Rabbis who tell you, "don't bother with Judaism."

After converting, those same Rabbis will welcome you with open arms. But there will still be a voice telling you, to not to bother -- but then, it will be a voice from within you.

If you can overcome the resistance set up by the Rabbis, then you have a good chance of being able to overcome, the inner resistance, that is the struggle of every Jew.

Why Doesn't Judaism Allow Cremations?

2009-06-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

Question:
My grandmother recently revealed, that she intends to be cremated. This disturbed me, as I know Judaism doesn't allow cremations, but I'm not sure why.

What should I tell her?
__________
Answer:
Whether you are a "spiritual" person or not, there are some very good reasons not to be cremated.

1) Our body doesn't belong to us. It is given to us on loan, for the duration of our life on this earth. We are charged with looking after our body, and are permitted to use it, for furthering the cause of goodness in this world.

Once our souls return to where they came from, we lose any rights in the body, and must return it as is.

Cremation is like borrowing someones car, and torching it, instead of giving it back - not nice!

2) A central Jewish belief is, that those who have passed away, will be resurrected when Moshiach arrives. That means, that
their souls will return to their bodies, and they will live again.

The Jewish burial practices, prepare the body for this experience; but cremation makes it difficult.

3) I recently spoke to someone who attended a friend's cremation. I was struck by her reaction to the funeral. She said, that the atmosphere could only be described as awkward. Here was a group of people, coming to pay their respects to a loved one, but at the front of the room stood an urn.

Try as she might, she was unable to make the association between her friend, and the urn. There was no sense that honor was being paid to the departed -- her presence was no longer felt.
_________
The Kabbalah teaches, that the soul of the departed remains hovering around the body, at the funeral. It hears the eulogies, and sees those who have come, to bid it a final farewell.

After the burial, a part of the soul always remains at the grave site. There they can be visited; and they are aware of, and attentive to, their visitors.
_____________
Being cremated is unfair to the mourners, who have no tangible grave-site to visit; and more unfair to the soul, who has no resting place in this world.

As for those who have already been cremated, the past is the past. G-d can do anything, and He can certainly forgive them. But for the future, cremation should not be an option.
________
Your grandmother is a special lady. May she see many more years of good health, and may she always be treated with the dignity, that she deserves, eternally.

Why Don't Miracles Happen Today?

2009-06-10T14:26:00.000-07:00

Question:
Why don't we see miracles today, as the ones Jews saw in the at the time of Chanukah?

And don't tell me, that every day is a miracle, childbirth is a miracle, and the sunrise is a miracle. I am talking about splitting seas, dead people coming alive, and voices-from-heaven, and hand-writing-on-the-wall, type of miracles.

The really supernatural stuff -- what happened to that? Why did the people of the Bible get all the good stuff, and we don't? _________
Answer:
Have you ever wished you were a child again? Don't kids have it made.

Their parents do everything for them. The child is hungry and, amazingly, food appears in front of him.

The child hurts herself, and the parent is immediately there to kiss it better. The child is lovingly put to sleep at night, and lovingly taken out of bed in the morning.
____________
It's a comforting and secure existence, but it doesn't last for long.

As the child develops and grows, the parents gradually withdraw. A baby becomes a toddler; she can walk on her own two feet, feed herself, and look after some of her own needs.

Eventually, she will grow into a young child; and can even go out of the house for the day, without her parents, and go to school.

Then the child becomes teenager, when he asserts his independence even more. Teenagers brush off their parents' advice, because they have to find their own way, and they think that they know best.
______________
As difficult as it is, the parents have to accept this as a part of their child's maturation process, and to some extent, allow the teenager to make some silly mistakes. Otherwise, the child will never grow up.

The parents have to let go, because only then can children finally grow up -- and become adults. Then, as adults, they can relate to their parents, with respect and understanding.

They don't need their parents to clothe and feed them anymore, they can do that themselves.
___________
But they can then enjoy a relationship, that is even deeper and more real; because now, as an adult, they have grown to appreciate, what their parents have done for them.

That the child is now the person, that he or she is now, is due to the love and attention, that their parents devoted to him or her.
_________
Humanity has taken a similar course.

In the early days, G-d was like a loving parent, very apparent, and obviously looking after us. He spoke to us, to guide us; He intervened, by doing miracles, to save His children from harm. The wicked were openly punished immediately, and the righteous rewarded.

That was the era of humanity's infancy. We had yet to develop the spiritual tools, to relate to G-d, in any subtle or sublime way, so He spoon-fed us with open miracles.
_____________
But as humanity developed spiritually, G-d withdrew His open manifestations in our lives. Just as a parent, allows his child more and more freedom; so too, G-d removed His open involvement, in their affairs.

But of course, while parents may not openly guide, they never really withdraw their love and attention. They oversee every move their growing child makes, and quietly influence their child's life direction, albeit from the sidelines.
______________
Similarly, as time has moved on, G-d is just as present as before, pulling the strings of history and human destiny, this way and that; but not in such an obvious and obtrusive way, as through a miracle.

He hides behind the coincidences and daily occurrences, that seem on the surface, to be quite normal. But on reflection, they are not - since the hand of G-d is clearly there.
___________
Over the last couple of centuries, humanity went through an adolescent rebellion. We threw off the yoke of our Heavenly Parent, and sought independence. Belief in G-d was seen as a childish crutch, an immature myth.

But our generation, having learnt from the adolescent mistakes of modern history, is starting to mature. We are realizing, that our Divine Parent's values, were not so bad after all.

And we are seeking to reconnect with G-d, and true spirituality -- not as children who need miracles to convince us, but as spiritual adults, who can discern the magic, behind the everyday; and the Divine, within the mundane. Now we are finally, coming of age.

Perhaps this new thirst for G-d, is the greatest miracle of all.

Why is Jewish Law so Detailed?

2009-06-10T14:25:00.001-07:00

Question:
Why does the Jewish religion seem so particular about, details? How much Matza do we have to eat, which spoon did I use for milk and which for meat, what is the right way to tie my shoelaces?

It seems to me, that this misses the bigger picture, by focusing on minutiae. Is this nitpicking, called spirituality?

(I actually already sent you this question over a week ago and didn't receive a reply. Could it be that you have finally been asked a question that you can't answer?!)
________
Answer:
I never claimed to have all the answers. There are many questions that are beyond me. But it happens to be, that I did answer your question, and you did get the answer.

I sent a reply immediately. The fact that you didn't receive it, is itself the answer to your question.

You see, I sent you a reply, but I wrote your email address leaving out the "dot" before the "com."

I figured, that you should still receive the email, because after all, it is only one little dot missing. I mean come on, it's not as if I wrote the wrong name, or something drastic like that! Would anyone be so nitpicky, as to differentiate between "yahoocom" and "yahoo.com"?

Isn't it a bit ridiculous. that you didn't get my email, just because of a little dot?
___________
No, it's not ridiculous, because the dot, is not just a dot, it represents something. That dot has meaning, far beyond the pixels on the screen, that form it.

To me it may seem insignificant, but that is simply due to my ignorance of the ways of the internet. All I know is, that with the dot, the message gets to the right destination; without it, the message is lost to oblivion.
________
Jewish practices have infinite depth. Each nuance and detail, contains a world of symbolism, so every dot counts.

When they are performed with precision, a spiritual vibration is emailed throughout the universe, all the way to G-d's inbox.
_________
If you want to understand the symbolism of the dot, study I.T.

If you want to understand the symbolism of Judaism, study it in detail!

Why is There A Big Picture of the Rebbe in your Home?

2009-06-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

Question:
Many thanks to you and your wife, for Friday night dinner, we had a great time.

I just had one question, I noticed you have a huge picture of your Rebbe, Rabbi Schneersohn, on the wall. Is this type of reverence appropriate?
_________
Answer:
I do respect the Rebbe, but not because he was superhuman, on the contrary.

Here was a man, who received up to one thousand letters a day, and answered them all.

Advised concerned parents, of unwell children; and singles, searching for life-partners; with the same love and attention, as he advised presidents and prime-ministers, on world affairs.

Had the vision, to set up a web of institutions around the globe, in order to rebuild Judaism after the war.

He promoted values and morals also, for the non-Jewish world.
He was as comfortable in the sciences, as he was in Torah wisdom, and found G-d in both.

He healed the sick with his blessings; and answered people's questions, before they even asked them.

He took the responsibility of the world on his shoulders, but had time for every individual.
______________
These are just a sample of his qualities, but above all this, why I revere him was, because he was human.

For a superhuman to achieve all the above is no big deal, they don't have to work hard to become heroes. But for a human being of flesh and blood, it is nothing short of amazing.
__________
That's why I have a picture of the Rebbe on my wall, it always reminds me, of what a human can achieve, and that I can always do more, to better the world.
___________
I only saw the Rebbe once, but it is due to his influence that I am today, an active and proud Jew.

His teachings inspired me to become a Rabbi - otherwise, who knows, I may have been a B-grade trapeze artist, or struggling plumber's assistant.

The very fact that I am writing these words, and you are reading them, is thanks to the Rebbe's teachings and advice.
_________
From the Rebbe's teachings, I have learned what G-d is; from his life, I have learnt what humans can be.

Why is Pressing a Button on Shabbos Considered Work?

2009-06-10T14:21:00.000-07:00

Question:
Rabbi, do you honestly believe, that pressing a button to cross the street, is considered doing work on the Sabbath? It doesn't seem to strenuous to me.
________
Answer:
It is not strenuous work, that is forbidden on Shabbos, but rather creative work.

During the working week, we strive to make the world a better, safer and more comfortable place. We use our human ingenuity, to invent, build, develop, and improve the world around us. But on the seventh day, we step back into ourselves, and realize that G-d really runs the world.

We take a break from trying to change the world, and we appreciate the innate beauty of the world, that G-d created. Instead of altering our surroundings, we enjoy them.

Rather than utilize the amenities that technology has given us, we enjoy the blessings that G-d has given us - love, family, friendship, meditation, and just being human.
_________
Shabbos is a like a dream-world; and we enter this dream-world, by leaving the mundane world behind. Even the smallest disturbance -- like pressing a button -- would bring us crashing back down to the mundane earth.

And there's nothing worse, than waking up from a wonderful dream, before it's over…

Can a Pet Be Family?

2009-06-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

Question:
I have decided, that my only true friend, is my dog. People have caused me a lot of pain, but my dog has remained loyal. I am giving up on humans. Why can't I find people, as loyal as my dog?
_________
Answer:
I understand your desire to withdraw from human contact. Human relationships are complex, and often painful. Whenever you put your heart out for someone, the risk of being hurt is high. The more intimate the relationship, the higher the risk.

An animal's friendship is certainly safer. Animals are accepting. They don't change. They are for the most part, predictable and dependable. They are easily controlled.

Unless you get bitten or physically attacked, you won't get hurt in a relationship, with an animal.
_________
But you also will never be challenged. With an animal, you will never have to question yourself, improve your ways, apologize. Your dog makes no demands, on your personality.

You can be as stubborn and inflexible, as he is. This is not good for you. When animal companionships replace human contact, only the animal benefits, whereas, the human stagnates.
_____________
In intimate human relationships, we are called upon to change, grow and develop with our partner. We can't control each other, nor can we predict each other's moods. We have to be ready, to go out of ourselves, and address the emotional needs of another.

And as those needs change, we must adjust with them. Through sharing a life, making each other happy, and even sometimes hurting each other; we learn about ourselves, and grow as a person. Our partner becomes like a mirror, a dog can't do that.
_________
Don't give up on human beings, your dog has found a wonderful one, and you will too.

Can a Rabbi Get Married?

2009-06-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Question:
I was wondering, whether Rabbis are allowed to get married.
_________
Answer:
Not only are Rabbis allowed to marry, they are obligated to marry. "Be fruitful and multiply" is a command to all, regardless of career, or position in the community.

A Rabbi has to be connected, with this physical world. If someone is dating and confused, or is going through a rough time in his marriage, or needs guidance on how to discipline their kids, who should he turn to?

To a Rabbi, who knows what it means to argue with your wife; and what to do, a when a kid, pokes another kid.

Not only when you have a questions in theology, do you go to a Rabbi, but also for real life issues.
____________
This brings us to an important truth. Judaism does not differentiate between "clergy" and "laymen". Whether you are a Rabbi or a taxi driver, you are expected to live a "normal" life, to be involved with the struggles and temptations, of the mundane world.

But it works the other way as well. Whether you are a taxi driver or a Rabbi, you are expected to make your everyday mundane world, a home for G-d.

The Torah's ideal, is to create a society, of holy “taxicab drivers”.
_______________
Sanctity and morality ,are not the domain of Rabbis alone - every individual must strive to the same standard. Everyone can engage in direct dialogue, with G-d and Torah.

The Rabbi is the guide to direct people, to unite the needs of the spirit, with the realities of life. But he has to do the same, in his own life.
____________
Perhaps a taxicab, is a microcosm of an ideal world: What could be more beautiful, than a society in which taxi drivers share spiritual wisdom, and Rabbis change diapers?

Charity

2009-06-10T14:07:00.000-07:00

Question:

I am a strong believer in the value of charity, but I can't see how it is important, to give money to a Shul (Synagogue).

There are homeless people and starving children, so why should I give money, so people can pray? Isn't that a luxury in comparison?
________
Answer:
Why do you care, that there are homeless people? What's it your business? Are they members of your own family, that you should be concerned about them?

And who's children are starving, yours? If not, why is it your problem? Why should you feel responsible, for someone else's child?

What is it, that makes you care for the needs of others? It is certainly not logic, that drives you to help others - if anything, it is illogical to just give away hard earned money, to someone who you don't even know.

Neither is it human nature, that demands we care for a stranger. And there is no legal obligation, to share your wealth with others.

So what pushes you to do it?
___________
The answer: values.

You have values, principles of right and wrong, of good and bad, that direct your life, and demand, that you behave a, certain way.

You don't give charity because it makes sense, or because you instinctively feel the urge to give, or because the law demands you to.

You give charity, because it is moral, it is right, it is good to help those who are in need.
____________
Where do your morals come from? What is the source of the value of charity? The Torah.

It was the Torah that proclaimed, that our income is only partly ours. A tenth of it, doesn't belong to us at all, but is given us on loan, to distribute to worthy causes.

The Hebrew word for charity is Tzedakah, meaning justice.

The Jewish tradition saw charity, not as a noble act of generosity, but as a moral act of justice. To give, is simply an obligation.
____________
You have a wonderful sense of values. But values do not live in a vacuum. To survive and spread, values need institutions, in which they can be fostered and taught. That is the function of a Shul. A Shul is where, values are taught and lived.

By joining a community, we become sensitized to the needs of others, as we come into contact with people outside of our immediate circle of family and friends.

By hearing the Torah reading, and studying its messages, values are shared and passed down.

You need to give Tzedakah, to feed the poor and shelter the homeless. But you also need to ensure, that the very value of Tzedakah itself, is not homeless; and that your children, should never suffer from moral poverty.

That's why we need Shuls, because values, need a home too.

Should We Make Conversion Easier?

2009-06-10T14:05:00.000-07:00

Question:
If you would make conversion a bit easier, many more non-Jews would join us.

Why do you insist on a long and difficult conversion process, when you are closing the door to many potential converts?
_____________
Answer:
I would like to nominate you, to be the next prime-minister. You have come up with a brilliant formula, that could greatly benefit the world.

You argue, that the Jewish people would grow, if only it were easier to become Jewish. Let's apply that logic to some other scenarios, and most of society's problems could easily be solved.
- Poverty could be reduced immediately - simply lower the poverty line.
- There would be many more millionaires around, if you didn't need so much money to be one.
- The crime rates would drop dramatically, if we just legalize criminal activity.
- If we dropped the average life-expectancy from 70 to 50, people would live longer.

Either Judaism is truth, or it is not. If it is truth, then truth can't be saved by diluting it. And if it isn't, why bother saving it at all?
___________
The road to conversion is a challenging one.

Jewish law doesn't make it easy to convert, because becoming a Jew is a serious commitment.
If someone is not ready for that commitment, then they shouldn't convert.

But breaking the laws, to allow quickie conversions, makes a joke of the whole thing. If a law can be changed, then what significance does it have, in the first place?

To paraphrase Groucho: "I wouldn't join a club, that changed the rules to let me in."

Strongly Disagree?

2009-06-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

Question:
I was in your Shul on Friday night, and couldn't believe my eyes. I saw a guy I knew from years back, who is the last person I would ever expect to find praying. Let's just say, that he certainly wasn't the spiritual type, when I knew him.

If anything he was anti-religion. But now he has become a regular at your services. How did you get him there? _________
Answer:
I receive three types of feedback. Some write something like, "Great email", that's nice.

Even better is, "I forwarded that, to my whole list".

But the best compliment, is disagreement.
______________
Negative feedback, is the most positive feedback I can get.

Indifference is a writer’s nightmare. If I deliver a dramatic email, and get no response, no questions or objections; then it probably wasn't read, or my words didn't penetrate.

But when I receive vehement protests, and strong counter-arguments, then I know, that I have touched someone. They protest ,because they have taken me seriously, their outlook has been challenged; and so they feel the need, to defend their position.

That's the type of reader I am looking for - one who doesn't agree, and says so; then we can have a conversation.
____________
So too in our discourse with G-d. Every one of us has a soul, whether we consider ourselves spiritual or not; and every soul is involved, in a constant dialogue with G-d.

We each react differently to what G-d has to say, we may or may not respond, but we all are involved in the conversation.

Some are indifferent to G-d. His call to their soul doesn't touch them, either because they are not ready to hear it, or because they don't want to.

That is a tough audience.

Others agree with whatever G-d says. They are the uncommon souls, who seem to naturally follow the divine will.
______________
Then there are those, who struggle with G-d, and resist what He says. They are the ones to watch.

A person who is resistant to religion, is very likely the one, who is most touched by it. It resonates so deeply, if they don't resist it, they will have to pursue it. If they are honest with themselves, they will recognize, that they are disagreeing because they know it's so true.

They hear the irresistible call of G-d to come closer, and in time, they will realize, that there is nothing to fear. That's when they drop their resistance, and let their soul go free.If you are arguing against G-d, you are not far away.
_____________
As long as you are thinking and responding, you are a part of the divine conversation.

Disagree?

Did G-D Create Evil?

2009-06-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

Question:
Did G-d create evil? Surely, G-d made everything. So, although it is people who actually do evil, it was G-d who must have created the idea of evil.

But if G-d is good, how could He create evil?
_________
Answer:
Here's the paradox: goodness exists, because G-d desired it; evil exists, because G-d doesn't want it.

Evil doesn't exist, in the same way that goodness exists.

G-d wants goodness, so its existence is true and everlasting. Evil exists as a negative, something G-d doesn't want, so its existence is flimsy and temporal.

Evil is no more. than an undesirable non-entity, a path not to be taken. By doing evil acts, we give evil more credit than it deserves. Our bad choices, make evil into a truer existence, than it really is.
___________
In the end, evil can't prevail. It is an unwanted ghost, a temporary illusion, a thin facade. Over time, evil dissipates, no matter how menacing it may seem.

Wicked empires crumble, rotten ideas become exposed, and goodness eventually shines through. That's what G-d wanted all along, but He leaves it to us to achieve.

The only way to banish the ghost of evil, is to turn on the light of good.

Fasting

2009-06-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

Question:

I understand, that fasting on Yom Kippur is supposed to make me focus on my soul, rather than my body. But by around lunch time I am so starving, that for the rest of the day all I can think about is food.

Doesn't this defeat the purpose? How can I become more spiritual, with a growling stomach?
___________
Answer:
Fasting is no fun. By mid-morning on Yom Kippur, we think back to the pre-fast meal, and bitterly regret not eating that extra chicken leg.

As the day goes on, we begin to glance at our watches every few minutes, desperately anticipating the breaking of the fast.

We may be holding a prayer book in our hands, but all we see is a menu in front of our eyes. While the Cantor beseeches G-d to forgive the sinner, we beg Him to give us dinner.
___________
I know of no magic way to make the fast easy, but fasting can certainly be a spiritual experience. Rather than trying to ignore the body's hunger, you can actually use it to bring you closer to your soul, but it takes some contemplation.

On Yom Kippur afternoon, when the sounds from your stomach start to drown out the Yom Kippur prayers, and you begin to see mirages of food in front of your eyes, try this meditation:
"Look at me! I am a mature and reasonable human being, who usually functions pretty well.

But today, just because I missed my morning coffee and toast, I can't think straight! Here I am sitting in synagogue on the holiest day of the year, and all I can do, is hallucinate about paprika chicken and mashed potatoes.

An empty stomach has turned me grown man, into a ravenous beast. And what's even more ridiculous is, that in a couple of hours, it will only take a few mouthfuls of cake, and a cup of Coke, to make me forget the whole ordeal! Is a plate of food all that I amount to?

Am I no more, than a composite of my dietary intake? If you take away my tuna sandwich, is that the end of me?"
____________
The answer is:
If your body is all that there is, then yes, you are what you eat, and no more. But in truth, your body is not all there is to you.

You are much more, than a sum of your carbohydrates and proteins. You are not just a body, you are a soul.

The body is merely a frail, needy, and temporary home for the soul, your true identity. We take our body, and its needs, very seriously. We can live our lives, pursuing our body's cravings and urges, forgetting, that there is more to life than our creature comforts.

Fasting is a powerful reminder, of the fragility and dependence of the body. The hungrier you get, the more you realize, how delicate and unsubstantial the body really is. There must be more to your life, than breakfast.

The body is no more, than an outer shell, a thin surface, of who you are. Your true identity is the part of you, that can see beyond your own hunger, and feel the hunger of others; can divert itself away from your own needs, and focus on the needs of those around you. That is your soul.

____________
All year we work, shop, cook, eat and exercise, to feed our body. One day a year, we step back from our bodily self, and step into the world of the soul.

On Yom Kippur, we become an observer of the body, from the point of view of your soul.

Watch your body hunger, pity it for its weakness and frailty, and resolve, that in the year to come, you will not make your body, and its temporal pleasures, the be-all and-end-all of your life.

Rather, you will care for your body, so that it can serve as a vehicle of goodness, to achieve the mission, that your soul was sent to this world to fulfill.

TV- Reality or Fantasy?

2009-06-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

Question:

I understand, that you do not own a television set. But how do you know what's going on in the world, without a TV in the house?
__________
Answer:

I would say, that TV cuts you off from reality. Whatever you are watching, whether it's the news or entertainment, you are missing out, on what's going on in the real world.

The news is a distortion, of what's going on other people's lives; and the entertainment is a distraction, from what's going on in your life. "Reality TV", is an oxymoron.

The TV news, is simply reporting the facts - right? Wrong.
It is only reporting the facts, that are visually captivating, will maintain the ratings, conform to the prejudices of the station owners; and fit in to neat little segments - as if there has never been a story too complicated, to report in three minutes.

At least on the internet, I can choose what I want to see, rather than someone else doing that for me.
_____________
But it's not only the news that distances us from reality. Just as TV news replaces the facts, with a contrived opinion; TV entertainment replaces real human interaction, with somebody else's fantasies.

Those who spend their hours following soap operas, are missing out on the days of the lives, of their own family and friends. Sitcom-junkies, are oblivious to the hilarity of everyday living. And the fans glued to reality TV, are blind to the reality happening in their own home.

Could it be, that TV is a major cause of the relationships crisis we face today?
_____________
Apart from the time wasted in front of the box, there is a deeper effect, the media is having on our generation of TV addicts.

So many people are complaining, that they can't find somebody to love. How often do we hear, "I just can't find the right person", "I don't find anyone attractive enough".

Well, to a couch potato, it's no wonder no one is good enough. Who can compete, with the beautiful, funny, interesting and witty characters, that strut the screens, and fill their minds every night?

How many people do you know, who fit TV's narrow definition of what is considered attractive? Of course, no one matches up - look who they're up against.

I feel more in touch with reality, without a TV.
_________
You may not be ready to throw yours out the window, but at least ensure, that it is you that controls the television, and not the reverse. Make sure you do not replace real relationships, in favor of imaginary friends.

Remember: life was not meant to be lived, only during commercial breaks.

Handicapped or Blessed?

2009-06-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

Question:

A friend gave birth to a baby with a rare condition, who is not expected to live, much past her tenth birthday.

I just can't understand why G-d does that. If life has a purpose, what is the purpose, of such a short and sad life?
___________
Answer:

Every birth is a gamble. A soul enters the world innocent and pure, but it may not stay that way. This world is maze of diverging pathways, both good and evil; and the choice is ours which way we go.

Once a soul enters a body, it is free, and therefore vulnerable, to corruption. While acts of good elevate the soul, every act of evil, makes a blemish on the soul.
___________
Some souls are so pure, it simply isn't worth the gamble. These souls are too precious, to risk being compromised by life in a body.

They are too high to come down to this world. But the other option, of not to be sent down at all, to never reach this world; would mean, that we would miss out on meeting these holy and lofty souls, and hearing their message. So these souls do come down.

But in order to be protected from the potential evils of an earthly existence, they are sent down into a body that will not compromise their holiness. They enter this world in a form, that is above sin, above evil.

From a purely physical perspective, we call them disabled or handicapped; from the perspective of the soul, they are protected.

They will never sin. Their sojourn in this world is often brief, and in terms of this world, may seem sad. But they have retained their purity, and they have fulfilled their mission.
___________
These special souls remind us, that true love doesn't need a reason. We often love others, for what they give us - we love our children, because they are cute, smart, and high achievers; we love our spouse, for the pleasure and contentment they give us; we love our parents, because they care for us.

This is love, but it is not pure.
_______________
When a child is born, that will never achieve worldly success, cannot provide the usual source of pride for her parents, all extraneous reasons to love her fall away, and what's left is, the purest love that there can be.

These children are lovable, not because of what they do for you, and not because of what they will one day become, but simply because they are.
_________
These pure souls remind us, what love should be. Only such a pure and holy soul, can elicit such a pure and holy emotion. We can only stand in awe of them, and the parents and friends who care for them.

And we can only thank them all, for giving us a glimpse, of what true love really means.

How Can I Be Happy?

2009-06-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

Question:
I know, that a Jew is supposed to always be joyous, but when I look at myself and my life, I see no good reason to be happy.

On the contrary, I have plenty of reasons to be miserable. Am I supposed to be able to just switch on happiness, at will?
__________
Answer:
Yes, we face some heavy challenges in life, and feelings of despair are understandable. But we can turn our situation around. Happiness, is never beyond our reach.

That's because, happiness is a natural human state. Just look at a young child. Children don't need to learn strategies for positive living, and they don't need a reason to be happy.

They need a reason, to be sad. If a child cries, we ask, "What's wrong?"

If a child laughs, and plays and dances around the room, we don't ask, "What's the big celebration about? Why are you happy?"

A child is happy by default; if they aren't happy, there must be a reason, like: they need to be changed, they are hungry or thirsty or tired, or need attention, or just had a Bris.

But as long as nothing's wrong, a child is happy for no reason at all.
___________
Somewhere along the line things change. We grow older and become more demanding, harder to please, and we lose this childish contentment.

As we become jaded by life's disappointments, we feel that we need a reason to be happy. If you see an adult walking around with a big smile, you ask, "What's wrong with you, why are you smiling?"
_____________
The difference is, a child is not self-conscious. They are free to be happy, because they are not yet aware of themselves.

It is only when we mature, and become more self-aware, that we also become more self-absorbed. We have worries and concerns, unfulfilled desires, and unrealized dreams.

None of us can honestly say we have it all, and we can always find reason to be upset. But a child isn't bothered by what he is "missing," so he does have it all.
______________
The child's lack of self-consciousness, leaves her free to enjoy life and be happy.

The more we are concerned with our own happiness, the farther we are away from achieving it.

As soon as we forget about what we need, and instead focus on what we are needed for-(the good we can do for others, rather than the good we can get for ourselves)- our childlike joy comes flowing back, and we are happy again.
__________
This is the focus of the joyous holiday of Purim: a time to give gifts to friends, donations to the needy, to say l'chaim; to loosen our grip on our self, and thank G-d for the opportunity to be alive.

Even in the darkest times, (by becoming mission-focused, rather than self-focused), we can access our inner joy.

Happiness is not somewhere out there; it rests within; in that part of us that is forever young, and forever giving--our happy soul.

The Wall of Holiness

2009-06-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

Question:

I am just back from my big trip to Israel. It's the first Jewish thing I've done, since my Bar Mitzvah.

But here's the weird part. I went to the Wall in Jerusalem, and you know me, I'm the last person to have a "spiritual experience". But as I approached the Wall, I started to cry uncontrollably.

I felt this strange magnetism towards the Wall, almost as if I was being pulled towards it. Not bad for an agnostic.

I think I felt G-d, what do you think?
________
Answer:

You have a powerful Jewish soul, and you caught a glimpse of its power at the Wall.

The Wall is the last remnant, of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.
While ransacking Jerusalem 2000 years ago, the Romans burnt the Temple, and knocked down its stone walls. But one wall refused to budge - the Western Wall.
___________
The sages predicted long ago, that the Western Wall will never be destroyed.

It represents a holiness, that no foreign power can ever touch. They can destroy the Temple, but there is something that is beyond their reach - the G-dly presence, that never leaves Jerusalem.

The Wall has been built over, dumped on, ignored; but never did it fall. Finally, in our times, it was rediscovered, and opened for all.
_____________
The Kabbalists teach, that man is a microcosm. Whatever exists in the world, can be found in miniature form within ourselves.

If there is a Wall that is so holy, that it can never be destroyed; then within us, there must also be a spark of holiness, that can never be lost.

This is our spark of Jewishness, the essence of the Jewish soul.

Our soul may be surrounded by foreign invaders - skepticism, ignorance, scars from negative Jewish experiences - but nevertheless, it remains in tact. Nothing can extinguish the Jewish spark; it is always there waiting to be ignited.

Even an agnostic Jew, who has been separated from his spiritual heritage for generations, yet at the deepest level of his being, he is Jewish. Nothing can take that away.

Eventually, if he allows it, that innate Jewishness will surface.
__________
Everyone has a different catalyst, that ignites this spark. In your case, the microcosm, met the macrocosm. Your Jewish spark, that indestructible presence of G-d within you, was awakened at the Wall; being the indestructible presence of G-d in the world.

I guess it's not surprising, that many have had that experience. Now it's up to you, you have been given a gift. You have come face to face, with your soul.

These experiences don't happen often, but once you have discovered the Holy Wall within yourself, you can start to rebuild your Temple around it; so that experience of holiness, will never be lost again.

Now you can openly fuel your fire for G-d, in your heart, and in your life.

Reincarnated- Soul-Mate

2009-06-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

Question:
Why is dating so hard these days? Never in history have people struggled with relationships so much. So many of my friends, are still single and looking.

And even my married friends, seem to have to work hard to keep it together.

What's wrong with us?
____________
Answer:

We are a generation, of complicated souls. Some of it is our own doing, but some of it is the destiny thrust upon us. The knotty world of modern dating, is partly a reflection, of the complex nature of the modern soul.

The search for a soul-mate, can be easy or hard, depending on what your souls journey is.
The master Kabbalist Rabbi Isaac Luria taught, that only new souls, have an easy time, finding their soul-mate.
_____________
When your soul comes to this world for the first time, you are fresh and unencumbered. Your vision is clear, and your heart is open, and it is easy to recognize your soul-mate.

But for those souls, who have been here before, reincarnated souls, it doesn't come so easily. Reincarnated souls come to the world, with the baggage of their previous life; and though every soul is born pure, a reincarnated soul is born complicated.

So while a new soul, will meet and recognize their soul-mate immediately, an old soul will have to work harder. They may have to meet many others- before they meet the right one.

They may need to do a lot of growing and inner development- before being ready to recognize their soul-mate. There is a lot of stuff to get over first - like unrealistic expectations, over-specific requirements, exaggerated self-images, superficial hang-ups- and the residue of relationships of the past.

And even when soul-mates do find each other, they will have to work hard to make things work.
____________
The Kabbalists declared, that almost all souls these days have been here before. Very few new souls are coming down. So we can expect the search for soul-mates, to be more challenging now- than ever.

Our souls are carrying baggage - some we have inherited- and some our own doing - and only by working through those layers- do we remove the barriers, that stand between our soul, and our soul-mate.
_____________
The best way to bring about meeting your soul-mate, is to be more in touch with your own soul. When your soul is pulsating with inspiration and clarity, when you are spiritually grounded- and bringing goodness to your surroundings; then you are prepared to meet your soul-mate.

It may take some effort, but that is your soul's journey, have safe trip. And when you finally arrive, thank G-d.

The Dance of Life

2009-06-10T12:52:00.000-07:00

Question:
At Jewish weddings, I've seen this dance, where people stand facing each other in two lines, and then run towards each other and meet in the middle; then run backwards to their original places, only to do it all over again.

Is there any meaning to this dance?
__________
Answer:

This wedding dance reflects, the dance of a healthy relationship.

In any loving relationship, a couple experiences moments of closeness and love, as well as moments of distance and tension.

It is not possible for two human beings to share intimate space, and not go through some rough patches. If a relationship is to be real, it probably won't be smooth.

But this tension, is exactly what makes true love so powerful. Every moment of tension in a loving relationship, is an opportunity, to get to know each other better; to transcend the superficial, and experience the essential.

Why are you upset; what did I do to hurt you; where did we misunderstand each other; what can we learn from this episode?
_____________
The only reason you retreat from each other, is in order to achieve a deeper relationship. You take a step back, so that you can then spring forward.

The divide that was created by the little falling out, provides the energy, to come back closer and stronger than ever. __________
As we dance around the newlyweds, we give them a powerful message. In your lives together, it will invariably happen, that you will make mistakes. There will be times of misunderstanding and distance, when you feel you have drifted apart, and the love is being strained.

But the secret: even in those times, is never turn your back. Even when you are retreating, always face each other. If you do, the tension itself, will propel you back towards each other.

Never fear those moments, of tension in your marriage; rather, see them as opportunities, for a deeper connection.

In the dance of love, the good times bring you close; but the tough times, bring you closer, just keep dancing...

Yom Kipper is for Imperfect People

2009-06-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

Question:
I find Yom Kippur depressing.

Why spend a day focusing on our sins and failures? Do we need to be reminded, how far we are from being perfect?
_________
Answer:
Yom Kippur is a celebration of being human. And being human, means being imperfect.

Human failure is so common, that G-d has placed on the calendar an annual day of forgiveness.

It is not an optional holiday, only for those who happen to have sinned. Yom Kippur comes every single year, for every single person.
_________
There may be mess-ups that we have to make amends for. G-d is so not surprised by our failings, that He begrudgingly allows us to clean-up day every year, rather we were never meant to be perfect.

Every Yom Kippur we receive a note from G-d saying something like this:
I know you are human, and that humans are not perfect. I made you that way, and I love you anyway. In fact, that's why I love you - because you are not perfect; I already had perfection, before I created you.

What I want from creation, is an imperfect world, that strives to improve. That is filled with human beings that fail, but get up and move ahead.

By being imperfect, but nevertheless persevering, you have fulfilled the purpose of your creation. You have achieved the one thing that I can't do without you - you have brought the perfect G-d, into an imperfect world.

Thanks. With Love,
G-d
________
For all of us who are not perfect, Yom Kippur is our day. But rather than be depressed by failings, we are propelled by them.

Every slip up, every failed attempt ,at living up to our calling, is another step forward, in our growth and development. Struggling with our mission, is itself a part of the mission.
__________
Yom Kippur is the day, G-d thanks us for being human, and we thank G-d ,that we aren't perfect. If we were, then we'd have nothing to do.

What is the Biggest Threat to Judaism?

2009-06-10T12:49:00.000-07:00

Question:
What do you see as the biggest threat to Jewish survival - assimilation or anti-Semitism?
__________
Answer:
The biggest threat to Jewish survival, is confused Jewish identity. Sadly, today in many Jewish schools and families, Jewish identity is built, through teaching Holocaust awareness, and a fear of marrying out.

The Jewish community's preoccupation with assimilation and anti-Semitism, is not the solution, it is the problem. A pessimistic and negative presentation of being Jewish, turns off young Jews, more than anything else.
_____________
When we are obsessed about anti-Semitism, we paint ourselves, as perpetual victims. When we over-emphasize the threat of assimilation, it makes us feel, like an endangered species.

The Jews are alongside the hump-back whale and the giant panda, in the list of helpless and pitiful communities, disappearing from the planet.

Is it so surprising that young Jews are opting out of Judaism? Who wants to be a victim?
_____________
We have to stop defining ourselves, by the way others perceive us. Assimilation is when, non-Jews love us so much, they want to marry us. Anti-Semitism is when, non-Jews hate us so much, they want to kill us.

They both just happen to us; but what do we think of ourselves? We need a clear and positive reason, to stay Jewish.

Failing that, why should Judaism survive? Is there a good argument, for not assimilating into the welcoming societies surrounding us? Is there a compelling reason, to stay strong and proud, in the face of anti-Semitism?

I think there is.
___________
Judaism is the most powerful energy, that the world has ever seen. Jews thrive, because we have a message from the messenger, that the world needs to be told.

The Jewish way of life, is a revolutionary force, that can transform ordinary lives, into lives of meaning. A family that keeps Shabbos, is always connected, to what is really important- G-d. There is more to life, than accumulating wealth.

The Kosher laws elevate us, so that we are not mere animals, that must feed our every urge and desire; so that even eating itself, can be holy.

A Mezuzah on the door, makes this home built, for a higher purpose.

Judaism elevates the world to a level that it urgently needs: Every individual person, is created in the image of G-d, and is therefore unique and valuable; that morality is not relative, but absolute; that humans are partners with G-d in creation, with a mission to create heaven on earth.
___________
These bold Jewish goals are more relevant, now than ever. But bold Torah ideals, need bold Jewish people, to perpetuate them.

The world can only be elevated, if individuals first elevate themselves. We can only make the world into a Divine home, if we are Divine in own home. This is Judaism's method, to change the world for better.
____________
The biggest threat to Judaism, is not external pressure, but rather internal confusion. When we lose sight of our mission, we lose the strength and stamina, to survive.

The Jewish feeling, we need to develop in ourselves, and our children, is not fear of anti-Semitism, or guilt about assimilation. It is to have a humble pride, in the greatness of the Jewish mission; and confident resolve, to fulfill it.

When we are clear about our identity, no threat in the world, can shake us.

True Happiness

2009-06-10T12:45:00.000-07:00

Question:
Why does it always rain on Sukkos?

It is supposed to be the festival of joy, but after building our Sukkah, and getting all excited about eating in it, we end up getting a downpour.

Why does G-d do this, to us?
_______________
Answer:

This question has puzzled meteorologists the world over. How is it, that no matter when Sukkos is celebrated, it brings rain?

Here's the answer I heard from my wife:

The weather is the one thing, that none of us can claim to control. We can plan our day, down to the last detail, and then, our plans can be washed out by a rainstorm. This can be frustrating, but it can be liberating too.

Rather than getting annoyed, we can laugh, and acknowledge just how little, is really in our hands.

And that's when we find happiness.
______________
Happiness and joy come most, when we let go, and surrender to a higher power. Much of our misery is the result, of thinking we can control what happens to us.

As soon as we realize, that we have no say in what happens to us, that we can only decide how we react to it, then we can find happiness.

So every year when we sit in the Sukkah, we make ourselves vulnerable to the elements; but we say, what will be, will be.

If it pours, so be it, it's not my call; I leave it up to G-d, I am in His hands. And that is the real reason, to be happy.

To Receive, is Better Than to Give

2009-06-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

Question:
I truly love my wife, but there seems to be a blockage that is obstructing our relationship. For some reason, her feelings for me, are not as strong, as mine are for her.

I don't get it. I treat her like a princess, I take her everywhere, I buy her gifts; I do everything to make it work, and don't ask for anything in return.

If love is all about giving, what am I doing wrong?
___________
Answer:
People often say, that love is about giving, giving, and giving; but that's not true. Receiving, is just as vital to a relationship, as giving.

While giving is essential to loving; the ability to receive, is what makes us lovable. If you're a great giver, but a lousy receiver, then you may be able to love, but you make it hard for yourself to be loved.

You have been led to believe, that the more you give, the more you will be loved. So you are left wondering: if I show her how much I care for her, by showering her with gifts, if I overwhelm her with my attention, if I smother her with my generosity, then how can she not love me back?

Meanwhile, you are missing the real key to her heart: she wants to feel needed.
________
As long as you are always giving, without asking for anything in return, you have not allowed any space for her, in your life. Your marriage is a one-way relationship, and she is not a real player in it. No wonder, her feelings towards you are stymied.

She doesn't just want you to give to her--she also wants you to be a recipient, of her love and care.

Her love for you will develop and grow, when she feels that she has an irreplaceable part to play in your life: that you feel, that without her, life can't go on.

For that, you have to expose your vulnerability, and show her that you really need her.
____________
Yes, it can be scary to admit that we have needs; and for many of us it is far easier to give, than to receive.

When I give, I am in control, I am calling the shots. But being on the receiving end, one has to let go of the reins, to concede, that I haven't got it all worked out, that I have, needs and weaknesses, flaws and dependencies.

But that is exactly what a relationship is--a healthy interdependence. And that's when you become open to be loved--when you allow her to see, and tend to, your dependence.
________
No one is so perfect, that they don't need anyone to fulfill them. Even G-d says, that He has "needs"--He needs our relationship with Him.

The Kabbalists teach, that before creation, G-d opened an empty space, a void in Himself, and it was within this empty space that He created the universe. So this world, where G-d's presence is hidden, is like a gaping hole, in the middle of the Divine self.

G-d invites us, to fill that void, by bringing holiness to the world. It was as if G-d is saying, "I am missing something; but you humans, by entering a relationship with me, can fill My emptiness".

If G-d isn't beyond displaying vulnerability, then neither are we. ____________
You may have already mastered the art of giving, but now learn how to receive. Tell her: how lost you are without her, how lonely you are, when she isn't around, how much she means to you; how her support and encouragement, is what keeps you going.

Have the strength to express your weakness. The minute you open that space within yourself, you become lovable.

The Unity of the Chuppah (Marriage)

2009-06-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

Question:
Why is there a Chuppah, at a Jewish wedding?
__________
Answer:
Marriage is the union, of man and woman. But male and female are opposites, and the idea that they can become one, is absurd. You can't take opposites, and make them one, it's impossible.

Impossible, that is, unless you do one thing: find something that encompasses both of them. An energy, that can include opposites, can unite opposites.

And the only energy that can include opposites, is divine energy. Only G-d, the source of male and female, and everything else, can bring together opposites.

And so, only G-d can create a marriage.
____________
The word Chuppah, means encompassing. It represents the infinite Divine Presence, that hovers above bride and groom, to unite them.

Because man and woman, can only truly become one, if they dedicate themselves to something bigger, than the both of them.

When two people unite, for a common higher cause, then they transcend the differences between them, and become one.

Love, attraction, chemistry, biology and physics, are all important for marriage; but what will keep it together, is shared spiritual values, and a common sense of divine purpose.

As long as G-d is a partner in the marriage, you will be surrounded by the Chuppah, for a lifetime.

The Good and the Bad (Suffering)

2009-06-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

Question:

Why would G-d hit a perfect child? Wouldn't He want her to save the world? Why must she suffer, and never be able to fulfill her dream, to help humanity?
_______
Answer:

There are no words that can take away the pain, and no explanations that can satisfy a heart grieving for the life, that could have been for your daughter.

I join you in protesting your daughter's undeserved suffering, together with the suffering of all innocent people. I do not believe that G-d wants us to defend the suffering of innocents. He may have His reasons, but that is His business. Our business, is to oppose and relieve the suffering of innocent people, wherever we can.
___________

G-d is ultimately responsible for allowing undeserved pain to exist. But we must also recognize, that G-d is the source of life itself; and life itself is undeserved.

Nobody earned the right to live, and nobody gained life on their own. G-d is responsible for suffering, but He is also responsible for giving life, in the first place.

So just as we can ask, "What did this girl do to deserve so much suffering?", we can also ask, "What did we do, to deserve such a beautiful soul as this girl?" The very fact that such a shining soul came down to this world, is a gift.

For whatever reason, this soul had to go through the darkest of journeys, and yet her soul is the brightest of souls. Just as we are pained by her suffering, we must also be thankful for her goodness. G-d caused that too.
_____________
Every life has to be seen as a whole, a package. The good and the bad, the painful and the beautiful, these things cannot be separated. They are all intrinsic to the soul's identity, and to its journey in this lifetime.

You can't have the talents without the challenges, and you can't have the beauty without the pain. Your daughter's fine qualities, and her terrible suffering, - are her soul.

Why is this so? Why can't it be different? Only G-d knows. And the truth is, we don't want to know the answer to that. We don't want an explanation for pain, we just want an end to it.

In the meantime, all we can do is be thankful for life. And be thankful for the gift that we have been given, the soul of your daughter, who has, and will continue, to bring goodness and light to the world.
__________
At NASA they will tell you how small and insignificant our planet earth is, in the whole scheme of the universe. But there are some things that they will never discover, anywhere else in the universe: the unconditional love of a mother for her child; the indomitable spirit of the human being, to stand up to adversity; and the simple, yet infinite power, that humans have to give, to care, to love and to do good, for each other.

NASA can achieve a lot for our planet. But a little girl who faces adversity with dignity, and counters pain with goodness, and fights hopelessness with hope, can achieve infinitely more.

I wish you, your daughter and all your loved ones strength and courage to face the challenges ahead; and we pray for her complete recovery.

The Dark Before the Light

2009-06-10T12:35:00.000-07:00

Question:

My life has fallen apart, my career is over. And now I am losing my faith too.

I used to believe so strongly, but now my thinking has changed. Was I deluded to think, that G-d would help me?
_______________
Answer:

I feel for you, in what must be a huge test of your character. Your whole world has been shattered to pieces. Just to get up in the morning, and face the day, must take mammoth strength.

There is a name for your situation; the Kabbalists call it Ayin Baemtza - "transitional nothingness." Between any two states of being, lies an intermediary state, of non-being.

Like a seed, that becomes a tree, it must first decompose, nullify itself, and rot into oblivion. Just as it reaches the verge of complete nonexistence, it starts to sprout, and reinvents itself into a new being.

Only by losing its being, as a seed, and becoming nothing, can it then reach a new being, a much greater being, a tree.

It has to be this way. To truly reinvent oneself, there must be a true and complete break from the past, a real nothingness, to make room for the new self, to emerge.
___________
You are presently going through an Ayin Baemtza (nullified)stage in your life. The life that was, is gone; and the life that will be, is yet to blossom; but you are left in a big black hole, of confusion, pain, and darkness.

That is a very hard place to be, because even though this transitional nothingness, is just a temporary state, a step between two stages in life; for you, the nothingness is real.

It is hard - maybe impossible - for you to see, any bright future ahead.

So what can you do to survive the transitional nothingness? What will keep you going, until you transform, into the you of tomorrow?
___________
In your current state of nothingness, you need to hold on to something higher than yourself. Now, you need faith, not philosophy. Say to yourself:

"My life is in disarray, I don't know what's flying, I don't know what will be, but I am in G-d's hands. This is a process, that for whatever reason I must go through. And with G-d's help, I will get through it."
_______________
When in an Ayin (empty) state, it is not the time to be changing belief systems, or making important life choices.

The ground you are standing on, is too unstable, for you to be able to think clearly. It would be sad - no, it would be tragic - if in your frustration, you made choices that you will later regret, but not be able to reverse.

Don't make permanent choices, for a temporary problem.
____________
My friend, I offer no solutions to your predicament, but I do offer you one piece of advice. Just hold on to G-d, He is the one thing, that even in your nothingness, you haven't lost.

You will get through this black hole, and your life grow even stronger than before. The seed is planted, have faith, and G-d willing, your new tomorrow, will blossom soon.

Somebody Elses Problems

2009-06-10T12:33:00.000-07:00

Question:

Suddenly a few months ago, things seem to turn for the worse. I lost my job, have had major strains in my relationships, a string of health issues; and life just seems a lot harder.

I almost feel like I've been cursed. Could that be?
___________
Answer:

I don't think you are cursed, I think you are pregnant. Not in the physical sense, but you may be experiencing what the Kabbalists call, a soul pregnancy.

Sometimes we go through times in our life, that seem to be incongruous with our life's natural flow. It can come in the form, of an unexpected burst of creative energy, that lasts a while, but eventually fades; or a patch of particularly challenging and difficult episodes, that take over our life, but eventually pass.

It is as if our life has taken a detour, and we head on an unexpected path for a while; only to come back later, and resume our life as it was.
___________
One possible explanation for this, is the Kabbalistic concept of ibbur, or soul pregnancy. Soul pregnancy, is a form of temporary reincarnation.

If a person died without completing their mission, their soul may be sent down again into this world; not to live in a body again, but just to go through particular experiences, or fulfill a specific mission.

This soul may latche onto a living person, and hitche a ride with them for a while; as long as they need, to complete what they need to fulfill.

If you are chosen to host such a soul, then for a specific period of time, your soul becomes pregnant, with another soul. Like a pregnant woman, there is a life within a life; two beings, whose fate and feelings, are deeply intertwined.

And so, your life trajectory is adjusted, to accommodate the needs of this guest soul.
___________
This experience, is to the benefit of both souls. The hitch-hiking soul, gets to fulfill its mission; and the host soul, gets an infusion of extra energy; as it can tap into, the strengths and talents, of its visitor.

Of course, it also means, that the host soul receives extra challenges. But every one of those challenges, comes with the offer of a gift - to reveal new layers of soul energy, that would not have been accessed, without the challenge.
____________
In time the guest leaves, when the soul fulfils its mission, and the host goes back to their life. But things are not the same. You will have been permanently enriched, with the experiences that your spiritual guest, brought you.

And you will be stronger and deeper, for it.
The challenges pass, but the growth last forever.

Should a Wedding be Kosher?

2009-06-10T12:31:00.000-07:00

Question:
If I don't usually keep Kosher, why should my wedding be Kosher? I understand, you need a Rabbi to oversee the ceremony, but why do you need a Rabbi to oversee the kitchen?
_________
Answer:
Why do we need to serve food at a wedding, in the first place? Can't you get married without eating? And indeed, why does every Jewish event involve food?

The answer: eating is our way of capturing a fleeting moment and internalizing it. By linking a holy event with a meal, we bring the spriitual holiness into our body.

Without food, the event would remain somewhat abstract. The food is what brings it down to earth.
___________
Physical food, is the bridge between matter and spirit, body and soul. Our soul is our life force; our body a lifeless shell. By eating, we connect our physical self, with its spiritual life force; we connect the soul into body.

If we didn't eat, our body would gradually disconnect from its source of life. It is food that creates the linkc between body and soul.
_____________
That's why we eat at a wedding. The Jewish wedding is a spiritual event. A holy light descends upon the souls of bride and groom, uniting them together as one.

We don't want this to be a fleeting moment, but rather we want to permanently absorb the spirit and energy of the day. This is achieved, by eating a festive meal.

Through eating food from a wedding meal, we absorb the divine light into our bodies, and bring the blessings down to earth, so that the holiness of the day, should influence the lives of the new couple, their families, and all present.
____________
That's why the food should to be Kosher. The Kosher diet promotes good circulation, between soul and body. If food connects body to soul, Kosher food ensures a smooth connection.

This is true of every meal -- how much more so, for a wedding meal. The holiness of a wedding, can only be captured, by food that is holy.

You hire a good photographer, to capture the scene of the wedding day; have a Kosher function, and forever capture the soul of the day.

Broaden Your View (Marriage Match)

2009-06-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

Question:
I am in my late thirties, and still single. I have met dozens of guys, but none are right for me.

I know what you are going to say: I am too fussy. But I can't just settle on something, half good. Where is, the man of my dreams?
____________
Answer:
It doesn't make sense. You are a wonderful person, with so much to offer, why are you still alone?

There could be many reasons, why someone may find it hard to find a partner. But I think in your case, the answer is simple. You're married already.

You are not available, because you are involved in a longstanding intimate relationship, with an imaginary Mr. Right.
You have an exact picture in your mind, of the perfect man; and you are so in love with that picture, that you are not open to anyone else. No matter how great the guy is, he can't compare to your dream.

You have become stuck in a bubble, with your imaginary love, and are not really open to real people.

So you haven't really met, dozens of guys - you never actually meet anyone. You see them not for who they are, but rather for who they are not - the imaginary Mr. Right.
___________
A relationship means, connecting with someone else, someone who is not you. You can't have a relationship, with a figment of your own imagination; or with your own assumed caricature, of another person.

You need to step out of your imagination, suspend your prejudices, and really open yourself to someone else. Let yourself be surprised. Otherwise, the man of your dreams will stay right where he is - in your dreams.
__________________
I apologize for being harsh on you. I just want to burst your bubble, because there is a real person out there, waiting for you to meet him.

He deserves it, so do you.

Every Seed (Mitzvah) Counts

2009-06-10T12:27:00.001-07:00

Question:
Why do we eat pomegranates on Rosh Hashana?

I've seen it explained, that "we should be full of Mitzvos and good deeds, like the pomegranate is full of seeds." But there are other fruits that are full of seeds. Couldn't we eat something a little tastier, than a pomegranate?
__________
Answer:
Many people tell me, that they are not involved with Judaism, because they don't want to be a hypocrite.

Why come to Shul for Rosh Hashana, if I don't go the rest of the year? How can I fast on Yom, Kippur, if I don't keep Shabbos? What's the point of putting on Tefillin in the morning, if I then eat a non-kosher breakfast?

You can't pick and choose, they say.
_____________
This is wrong. While it is true that we can't pick and choose, nevertheless, the non-observance of one Mitzvah, does not cancel the observance of another. Because Mitzvos, are like the seeds of a pomegranate.

Most fruits have a little cluster of seeds, somewhere in their centre; but the pomegranate is full of seeds; and every one of those seeds, is self-contained.

Each seed is encrusted in its own little bulb of fruit. It has its own distinct place, separate from all the other seeds.
_____________
A Mitzvah is the same.

Every mitzvah is a universe unto itself, with its own spiritual power, and its own unique blessing that it brings. Just because you don't keep some Mitzvos, does not mean, that you shouldn't keep others.

Each Mitzvah you do, plugs you into eternity, and connects you with the Divine; and takes you higher.

Every Mitzvah is a unique opportunity for your soul, to touch heaven. The Mitzvos that you don't do, shouldn't stop you, to miss this opportunity.

This is why the Talmud says, "Even the most disconnected soul, is full of Mitzvos like a pomegranate."

A good deed, has eternal worth, no matter what else one does or doesn’t do.

So if you find yourself doing one Mitzvah, when you still don't do others, you are not a hypocrite, you are just a holy pomegranate.

The Chosen People

2009-06-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

Question:
What does the "Chosen People" mean?
__________
Answer:
That is a question, that could only come from someone who is chosen.

Allow me to explain, in the Jewish understanding, chosenness leads not to arrogance, but rather to humility.
___________
If it were some human king, that chose us to be his special people, then your assumption would be correct -- we would become elitists.

When a mortal power shows favoritism towards a subject, that subject will become more arrogant as a result -- the closer you are to the king, the more significant you are; and the more significant you are, the higher respect you feel you deserve.
_____________
But Jews were chosen by G-d. And the closer you are to G-d, the more you sense your insignificance. While being buddy-buddy with a human leader inflates your ego, a relationship with all-powerful G-d, bursts your selfish bubble.

Because G-d is an infinite being, and all delusions of petty self-importance fall away, when you stand before infinity. Being close to G-d, demands introspection, self-improvement, and humility, not smugness and ego.
_________________
This is the idea of the Chosen People -- a nation of individuals, who have been given the opportunity, to sense G-d's closeness, hear His truth, and relay his message to the world.

All agree, that it was the Jews that introduced the world to monotheism; and a system of ethics and morals, that has shaped the modern view of life and its purpose.

And it is the survival of Judaism to this day, that attests to the eternal value of this system.
_________
To say that this is ethnocentric, is absurd for one simple reason: anyone from any ethnic background, can convert to Judaism and become chosen.

Jewish chosenness is not a gene, it is a state of the soul. Anyone wishing to take it upon themselves is welcome -- as long as they are ready to have their bubble burst.
_______________
So the arrogant person is cannot be chosen. The true test of chosenness, is how humble you are. You, Margaret, have passed this test with flying colors. Your humility is so deep, it doesn't allow you to accept, that you are chosen.

While most other religious groups are quite comfortable claiming. that they are the best, we Jews will do anything to say, that we are nothing special.

Now that's what I call, a Chosen People!

A Spiritual Gift

2009-06-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

There is something about a candle, that makes it more a spiritual element, than physical.

Physicality when spread, becomes thin; spirituality when spread, expands and grows.
_____________
When you use something physical, it is diminished. The more money you spend, the less you have; the more petrol you use, the more empty your tank becomes; the more food you eat, the more you need to restock.

But spiritual things, increase with use. If I use my wisdom to teach, the student learns, and I come out smarter for it; if I share my love with another, I become more loving, not less. When you give a spiritual gift, the recipient gains, and you lose nothing.

This is the spiritual property that candles share. When you use one candle to light another, the original candle remains bright.

Its light is not diminished by being shared, on the contrary, the two candles together enhance each others brightness, and increase light.
______________
We sometimes worry, that we may stretch ourselves too thin. In matters of spirit, it isn't true. The more goodness we spread, the more goodness we have.

By making a new friend, you become a better friend to your old friends. By having another child, you open a new corridor of love in your heart, that your other children benefit from too. By teaching more students, you become wiser.

Keep lighting your candles. There is an endless supply of light in your soul, and you will never run out of goodness.

A Rabbi and a Buddhist

2009-06-09T16:12:00.000-07:00

Question:
A monk took a small Buddha statue out of his pocket, and threw a statue onto the ground, smashing it to pieces.

The monk asked the startled Rabbi, "Now tell me, would you do that with one of your Torah scrolls? If not, who is it that makes idols?"
________________
Answer:
This story encapsulates the profound difference between eastern spirituality and Judaism. The two traditions have some things in common, but on many of the deepest issues they sharply diverge.

One fundamental question, elicits from the two diametrically opposed answers: Which is holier, physicality or spirituality?

The Buddhist would answer, that the spiritual is far higher than the physical. The Jew would give a typical Jewish answer: not necessarily.

The monk was right, we would never throw a Torah scroll on the ground. It is our holiest object, and we treat it with reverence and tenderness. The Torah is not G-d, but it is sacred.
___________
A Torah scroll embodies what the Jewish mission is all about - to take this world, and infuse it with G-dliness.

In the making of a Torah scroll, it requires of all four levels of existence - mineral, plant, animal and human- to create a holy object.

Pieces of parchment , made of animal hide, are sewn together with animal sinews. A feather quill, is dipped in ink made from plant derivatives; and a living human handwrites the Torah, letter by letter.

The scroll is then bound on wooden poles, covered with an elegant cloth coat, and decorated with silver adornments, representing the mineral realm.

The four levels of existence, have thus transcended their physical nature, and become a vehicle to express G-d's wisdom, and a vessel to hold His presence.
_______________
This seedemingly lowly world, hides the infinte G-d within it. The Torah scroll testifies, that the physical is not an impediment to holiness; on the contrary, it can be a home for holiness.
_____________
Eastern thought does not agree. Holiness lies in higher consciousness, elevated states of being, heightened awareness; but cannot elevate an animal's hide.

The Buddhist can smash his statue, because he thinks it absurd, that an object can be anything, more than a symbol of something higher. For him, there can't be intrinsic holiness to the statue, because holiness, is limited to spirituality.

For the Jew, this is the essence of idolatry. By relegating holiness to the higher worlds, you have limited G-d's jurisdiction. G-d can be just as comfortable in the physical world, as He is in the spiritual worlds, if we onlywelcome Him here.
______________
Of course, we can't worship a physical object, for as long as you are seeing something physical, you are not seeing G-d.

Any object can become holy, if G-d so desires.
The Torah scroll is not G-d, but it reveals G-d, it is a manifestation of G-d's wisdom.

A human being cannot be G-d, but we can become G-dly by aligning with G-d's will. To do so, we can write a Torah, study it, and bring holiness into every level of our life.
____________
This is where the paths of Buddhism and Judaism diverge.

In Buddhism, a physical object can't have innate holiness, for holiness is other-worldly; in Judaism, a physical object can be the holiest of holies, because there are no limitations to the divine.
____________
This difference in worldviews translates, into two very disparate ways of life:

Buddhism is about silence; Judaism is about words.
The Buddhist ideal is celibacy; Judaism's is family.

Buddhist spiritual centre is the temple; the Jewish spiritual centre is the home.

Buddhism glorifies the life of a monk; Judaism glorifies the life of a mother.

In Buddhism holiness is discovered in solitude; in Judaism holiness is found, in helping people, and elevating the world.

Buddhism says, the physical world is an illusion; Judaism says, this world is hidden a G-dly reality, but its potential for holiness has to be revealed by man.

In short, Buddhism is a calling to retreat from physicality, and reach for the spiritual. Judaism is a calling, to relate to the physical in a G-dly way, and marry the two, to make this world holy.
__________
Limiting G-d to the heavens, is idolatry. But revealing His presence in the world -, by living the Torah - that is the holiest thing we can do.

When our physical life is imbued with the divine imprint, then we have done the impossible: we have expanded infinity, to even include the finite world.

That's not just spiritual, it’s higher than spiritual - it's G-dly.

Divorce a Spiritual Operation?

2009-06-09T16:10:00.000-07:00

Question:
What is the Jewish view of divorce? If souls are united under the Chuppah, can they then split apart?

Answer:
When a couple gets married in a Jewish wedding ceremony, their souls become one. It is like a spiritual operation, that takes two separate beings, and fuses them into a new whole.

The Jewish divorce ceremony, is the reverse of this. It is a spiritual amputation, severing one part of the united soul, from the other; leaving two separate beings.

Divorce, like an amputation, is a tragedy; but sometimes, it's the right thing to do. Our attitude to divorce, parallels our attitude to the amputation of a limb in several ways:

It is painful.
When a limb becomes so diseased, that it endangers the rest of the body, the patient is faced with a horrible choice: face the pain of amputation; or risk worse suffering, by leaving things as they are. If the future risks are high enough, to clearly outweigh the present pain, the right thing to do, is cut off the limb.

Similarly, divorce is painful for all involved; but it is the right choice, if remaining in an unhealthy relationship, will only cause more damage, suffering, and heartache.

It is a last resort.
__________
We do everything possible to avoid needing to amputate. If there is a remote chance, that the limb can be salvaged, even with great effort and expense, it is worth a try.

Only after exhausting all other possibilities, would we resort to amputation.

The same is true of divorce--it is only considered, after counseling, and sincere efforts to change, prove fruitless.
It is not just a "Plan B".
_________
Amputation is not taken lightly. It is not seen as an option, if things don't work out. No one would recklessly experiment on their body, saying ,"If anything happens to my limbs, I can always amputate."

Similarly, we don't enter marriage saying, "If things don't work out, we can always get a divorce." Divorce should not be a factor, in the decision to get married. Marriage is forever, there is no Plan B.

Prevention is better, than a cure. Amputees can live a happy and fulfilled life. They may be far better off after their operation, than before. But if they could live life over again, they wouldn't choose to go down that path a second time.

So too divorce, it may sometimes lead to happiness; and true love and contentment, may come after the dissolution of a relationship. But if we can reach that point, without the pain of divorce, surely that would be preferable.
________
Often when a couple splits up, the question is not, "Why did they get divorced?", but rather, "Why did they ever get married in the first place?" In many cases, people are getting divorced for the right reasons, and married for the wrong reasons.

High divorce rates, should not scare us away from getting married, but rather, strengthen our resolve to take marriage seriously, and ensure, that we are choosing our partners, for the right reasons.

Children Need a Strong Foundation

2009-06-09T16:09:00.000-07:00

Question:
I am in a tricky situation. My sister and her husband are spending Chanukah with us. Her husband is not Jewish, and so they usually celebrate both Chanukah and Xmas, with their kids. They would like us to do the same this year.

Should I have a tree, and a family Xmas celebration in my home, to accommodate my brother in law?

I know he would do anything to accommodate us in his home, but I don't really want my kids celebrating Xmas. Am I being unfair?
____________
Answer: Children need to identify with something, so they need a clear identity, and a strong foundation to grow from.

The one thing kids cannot tolerate, is ambiguity. If they are given mixed signals, and wishy-washiness from their parents, then they will seek identity from somewhere else; like TV or their friends.

If you as parents, want to be the ones to impart identity to children, then you need to be clear, about your own identity.
_____________
For children to have a positive Jewish identity, they must know who they are, and be proud of it. But to celebrate a non-Jewish holiday, especially with their own family in their own home, is confusing and unsettling.

We should teach our children, to respect other cultures, but that doesn't mean celebrating them. You are not being unfair in insisting, that your home be exclusively Jewish.

The fact that your sister and brother in law, would accommodate your practices, is in keeping with the way, they have chosen to bring up their children. It is not contradictory for them to incorporate non-Jewish practices in their home.

This is not the nature of your home, and so it is wrong to expect you, to change your home's atmosphere.
______________
Some think, that this is a closed-minded and narrow view. Many believe, that we should embrace all cultures and religions, and expose our kids to as much variety as possible.

But the truth is, if we give our kids a taste of every culture, we are actually giving them, no culture. We can only be truly open and respect others, when respect and are clear, about our own identity.

Give your kids a clear sense of self, and they won't feel threatened by others.

When they can confidently say, "I know who I am," they can be open to ask, "And who are you?"

A True Success

2009-06-09T16:07:00.000-07:00

Question:

My acting career seems to be at a dead end. Every time I come close to a huge role, something goes wrong and I miss out. I have tried every avenue I can think of, even changing agents, but it hasn't helped.

I believe I have talent. But I am starting to think, I simply wasn't meant to be an actor.

Should I just come to terms, with being a failure?
___________
Answer:

My friend, there is only one thing you need to come to terms with. You are not an actor. You may be good at acting, but that is not who you are, it is what you do.

Stop identifying yourself by your career. You need to discover an identity, that is beyond your work. That way, success and failure in your career, will not spell success or failure in your life.

In our world of inverted values, a man is called successful, because he has made a lot of money.

He may have abandoned his third wife, be estranged from his children, have no friends, and his dog ran away from him. But he's done well at work, and people say, "I wish I had, his luck." __________
We achieve true success, when we succeed in our relationships.

If you are a caring friend in times of need, if you treat your parents well, if you are a supportive and understanding spouse, a devoted and caring parent; then you are a success.

Those who contribute to the community, not just money, but time and effort, those who have developed happy relationships with G-d and man, they are real success stories.
___________
As long as we identify ourselves with our profession - I am an actor, a sales person, an IT technician - then we are pinning our success as a person, on our career success. But it's not true, we are not defined by our job.

What we do to make a living, is different, than what we do to make a life.

We work to make a living, but to make a life, we must love, connect, serve a purpose, and find meaning.
__________
This is the gift of Shabbos.

One day a week, we step out of our workday roles, and return to our true self. We are not staff members, but rather members of a community; we are not employers or employees, but rather brothers and sisters, children, parents and friends.

We are not working for a boss to do our job, but rather, working for The Boss, to fulfill our mission.
___________
You may be great at doing your work, or maybe not; but it's more important, to be a good at being human.

When it comes to being human, even a failed businessman, can be the greatest success story; and a struggling actor, can be a star.